Hand on My Back, Voice in My Ear
by CTI-Jenn
Summary: Sam and Jules had said their vows but now a bomber's wrath would shake them to their very core. Post ep probably two shot for Episode 13 "Keep the Peace" part 2. Major spoilers inside.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Notes: I can't believe the finale episode is over. I'm going to miss this show in a way that I've never missed a show before. At least it can live on in fan fiction for years and years to come. There are still so many stories that can be told. This is my take on what was going on during the episode and directly afterward. It starts out toward the end of Part 1 and then continues on. I was going to make this a one shot but it was impossible to fit everything in with one chapter. So it'll be at least a two shot. I hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: The show Flashpoint and its characters were created by Mark Ellis and Stephanie Morgenstern and belong to them and its respective networks. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Hand on My Back; Voice in My Ear

She'd woken up that morning as Julianna Callaghan prepared for it to be the happiest and most perfect day she'd ever had. Surrounded by friends and family she'd stood with the man she loved as completely as any two people could love as they pledged their undying devotion to each other. Then together she and Sam had made the announcement he'd been anxious to make for a month: a baby had been created through that love.

It was as Julianna Braddock that she'd changed into her uniform that still boasted the name Callaghan. It hadn't bothered her even though she wanted to shout her new identity to the world; she wasn't sure anything truly could upset her on this day that her life had changed for the better. A few hours on shift and then the reception on the party boat that night before she and Sam would slip away to consummate those vows taken as an official married couple.

That had been the plan until the perfect day had gone straight to hell in a hand basket. The bomb discovered in the 9-1-1 communication system had been defused in time but in the process an explosion had rocked the Federal building. Team One, with the exception of Spike and Sarge, had responded along with practically every first responder in the area.

The destruction was great but nothing could prepare her for discovering the little boy lying on the sidewalk in the midst of the debris. All she'd been able to do for him was apologize for not being able to save him, cover him with his blanket - a barrier between him and the harsh black tag that said deceased, and try to prevent a hole into the pit of despair from opening beneath her.

Leah's announcement that there was a daycare inside with more children trapped and possibly injured had spurred her into action. In her attempt to get to them, a piece of rebar had gouged a hole in her leg and made moving both painful and difficult, but rescuing the kids, especially the little boy who had been pinned beneath the rubble, had made the injury seem a small price to pay.

Through the long physically demanding and emotionally draining situation, Sam had been her touchstone, her oasis. Those moments of taking comfort in his touch, his presence, or even just his voice had been fleeting but necessary. She didn't know if she would have been able to keep her emotions or her sanity in check long enough to do her job without him.

Then the lead had come in that seemed to point to Anson Holt as the bomber. She'd been ready to go with Sam and the others but Sarge had insisted she stay off her injured leg and help with the profiling. She didn't protest, recognizing the logic in his order. Her leg would slow her down and could put her, the baby, and the rest of the team at risk. But there was nothing wrong with her mind and if analyzing the information at her makeshift command post and feeding the information to the others meant they apprehended the guy before more innocent lives were lost, then she would play her part.

She watched Sam leave and felt an intense need to stop him from going. Perhaps beg him for one more hug or kiss before he disappeared from her side. She didn't voice the need, not because it wouldn't be professional, but because it felt almost selfish on her part. She knew Sarge was worried about Dean even if he had at least heard from him, and could read the panic in Ed's face over the fact that Clark could be trapped in the aftermath of the explosion at City Hall. They didn't have the luxury of having their loved ones at close contact the way she did and yet they were going on with their job. She could do the same.

When the confirmation came that Clark was buried in the rubble of the parking garage, Jules's heart dropped and her hand protectively covered her still visibly flat stomach as if it could prevent anything bad from happening. She couldn't fathom the thought of her child, loved sight unseen, ever being in mortal danger. She was powerless to do anything to help rescue Clark so she poured all her skills into predicting what Holt had planned. Those skills led her in the direction of the lab where Holt had conducted the experiments that had lead to his termination.

Team Three was the closest to the lab but that meant abandoning the search for Clark at City Hall. Jules tried to push aside her guilt when she heard Ed order Donna to take her team to the lab. Finding the bomber and preventing more deaths had to take precedence over the search of one trapped individual, especially when that individual was a family member of one of SRU's elite teams. She was all too familiar with the Priority of Life Code. Sam abiding by it when her own life had been in danger had been the proof Dr. Toth had needed to know they were capable of being in a relationship without jeopardizing protocols. Upholding the code when a lover was in danger was hard enough but a child - even if said child thought he was grown enough to be a man - was a different story. If things went bad and Clark didn't survive, would Ed be able to forgive himself? Would Sophie forgive him?

Time slowed to a standstill when the realization came that Donna and Holt were being watched, and Sarge shouted for her to clear the building. Jules rose to her feet as if it would help speed Donna to safety. The explosion was loud in her ear piece followed by deafening silence. Not only was Donna, as far as she knew, still in the lab, but Sarge was right outside which was too close for her comfort. She was relieved when Sarge announced he was okay but it was muted by the understanding that Donna and her teammate were gone. The loss was staggering and she couldn't help but think of Lew with intense sadness. As devastated as she was to know two of their own were lost, Lew's death was still harder for her to bear because she'd been a first hand witness and he'd been a good friend as well as a co-worker. Still, she could sympathize with what the rest of Team 3 had to be feeling in that moment.

Injured leg be dammed, she had to get to the lab. The rest of the team was heading there and she needed to be with them. Initially, she made good time hobbling with her bad leg. Wasn't the first time she'd ignored an injury for the sake of the job. Her focus was on getting to the perimeter of the scene, commandeering a patrol car since she'd been left without an SUV when the rest of the team had scattered. She realized as her injured leg stumbled over debris in the sidewalk that she should have paid more attention to where she was stepping.

"Shit." She'd done so well controlling her use of expletives since finding out she was pregnant. So well that she'd reached a point where she really didn't have to think about not using them anymore. But as the stumble sent the pain meter into excruciating the word was out of her mouth before she could think about the baby or the auto transcriber. Fortunately her radio wasn't set to transmit at the moment and she'd have to ask the baby for forgiveness for the lapse later.

She paused for a moment, unable to move or think or hardly even breathe until the pain subsided back to manageable. She leaned over, her hands on the tops of her thighs, trying to catch her breath. A swatch of blue caught her eye and a couple of tears slid down her cheeks. She recognized the material as the blanket she'd carefully draped over the little boy earlier. She'd wondered when she'd seen volunteers bring his body to the temporary makeshift morgue what had happened to it but hadn't had time to do much more than wonder.

Now, she knelt down, retrieved the scrap of material, and glanced back at the direction from which she'd come. Going back and reuniting child and blanket wasn't an option; she had no time and there was no guarantee it wouldn't get lost in the next move. She couldn't just leave it in the rubble either. Carefully and almost reverently, she folded it before sliding it between her vest and uniform for safekeeping. She wasn't sure what she was keeping it for, but it felt right and necessary. Swiping at her tears, she hobbled on.

It had been many years since she'd driven a regular police cruiser. It felt completely different from being behind the wheel of one of the SUVs, but as she tore through the city with the lights and sirens on, cars still cleared the way for her. She made good time reaching the laboratory.

She was surprised to see the team minus Sarge standing on the pedestrian side of the taped off scene. She frowned. As the elite of the elite, Team One was always right in the middle of everything, not reduced to standing uselessly on the sidelines. It both angered and frightened her at the same time.

When she saw Sarge coming toward them, she ducked under the tape, ready to go to him. If she'd been asked to choose a father other than the one she'd been born to, Greg Parker would not only be her first choice but her only one as well. Knowing he'd been that close to danger upset her in a way she'd couldn't explain in words but it had always been that way. She needed not just a visual or auditory confirmation that he was okay but a tactile one as well.

She barely had to duck under the tape to get to the other side, but immediately Sarge warned her back to the other side. The words dirty bomb made her blood run cold. Losing two members of Team 3 had been bad enough but to realize the danger wasn't over made the loss even worse. Could they now lose Sarge due to the radioactive material that had been released in the explosion? It wasn't fair, not that anything about the call had been fair.

Sam, who had moved closer to her at the news, reached out and gave her arm a quick, reassuring squeeze before releasing his hold. It was only a moment, not so much that anyone who might have been watching would have noticed, but the moment helped to steady her. Once more he was her oasis. As Greg reminded them of procedure, it was all she could do to nod when he asked them if they copied. The words wouldn't form past the temporary lump in her throat. She took a deep breath to put her worry aside to focus on the task at hand. Sarge would be out of the loop and was depending on them to figure things out before more bombs went off. No matter how upset she was, the city was depending on them for protection.

Despite the Hazmat team trying to usher Greg inside, the head of Team One was equally determined to make use of whatever remaining contact he had with his team. He urged them to focus on who would have left the trail for them to find Holt there at the lab. Profiling, under Greg's tutelage, had become a specialty for Jules.

"He was a sadist. Sadists have victims." She offered.

Sarge nodded, proud of how her skills had grown in the last couple of years. He expounded on her theory and encouraged them to look at Holt's students. Then he allowed the Hazmat people to lead him into the back of the truck. The team stared at him as the door closed behind him. A heavy silence descended over them as he went offline. It was as if they'd lost more than just radio contact with him. As the truck started to pull away, Ed stepped forward and took charge, spurring them into action.

While Sam and Ed helped to coordinate attempts to keep the nearby residents safe from any potential fallout, Jules worked with Leah and Spike to narrow down their suspect pool. While they were searching, word came in that Team 2 had defused a bomb; that made the count for the day so far 5, three that exploded and two that were stopped in time. Then Winnie announced that someone claiming to be the bomber had called 9-1-1 again. With the Boss off line, Ed instructed Jules to take the call. She climbed into the passenger side of an SUV to cut off the extraneous noise at the scene. She had to focus on everything about the call and the caller if she wanted to get the information needed to outsmart this guy. She asked Winnie to patch through the call to her headset.

"This is Jules Callaghan with the Strategic Response Unit." The name rolled off her tongue before she could even catch herself to remember that as of this morning it was Braddock. Funny, she and Sam hadn't really talked about whether she should keep her maiden name for work purposes; it would make sense since two Braddocks on the same team could be confusing. She shook her head, returning her focus to the call.

"_Where's my other puppet_?" The voice was clearly altered.

"He's in the field right now." No way was she going to give him the satisfaction of knowing he might have been successful in one of his attacks. "You got what you wanted. Your manifesto's out there. You're going to be famous." More like infamous but if stroking his ego and leading him into a false sense of accomplishment worked, then so be it. Still there was no way she could keep the disdain from her voice. "Want to tell us what your name is?"

"_Why would I make it that easy_?"

Cocky SOB. "That's right. Last time you made it that easy we walked right into it. Sent the manifesto from a smart phone spoofed to Anson Holt's name."

"_Very good."_

"Then pointed us straight here to the lab." She could see the look on Spike's face through the windshield; his normally affable expression grim given what had happened to Donna and their worry about the effects it would have on Sarge. She glanced up at the roof of the vehicle; if she allowed herself to meet the eyes of her team, she'd lose the last grip on objectivity she was clinging to.

"_Holt walked straight into it as well_."

"And then you strapped a bomb on him, made him watch the news…" Even if Holt was a sick sadist, he didn't deserve the fate Faber had chosen for him. Most certainly no one else affected by the bombs deserved a moment of the pain. "Made him watch what you'd done."

"_While I watched him sit there too scared to even breathe!"_

It was harder and harder for her to maintain her composure but she knew she had to drag out whatever information she could. She'd talked with subjects before but always with the Boss in her ear, keeping her composed and helping her know what to say. This time, because of the man she was talking to, she was alone. It didn't feel right, not right at all. "You've proven your point. I think the five remaining bombs are redundant."

"_How'd you know there were five?" _Definitely confusion and maybe a little fear creeping into his voice. Perfect confirmation. Ed even shot her a thumbs up to let her know it was a good job. Not as comforting as Sarge's voice in her ear but she'd take it.

"Where are they?"

"_You think people know fear yet? This is nothing. This isn't fear, this is an inconvenience." _

Jules turned her head, her heart starting to hammer in her chest as she bit down the urge to scream at him. Inconvenience? The little boy dead on the sidewalk, two excellent SRU officers who gave their lives trying to save the city, Sarge undergoing decontamination with the hope that his exposure to the radiation hadn't caused irreparable damage. How dare the arrogant psychopath call them inconveniences.

He continued his rant. "_People still have illusions someone's looking out for them. Police, paramedics, government, doctors…"_

"Authority figures." Of course, Holt had been his professor at the time of the experiments. Of course he would have a natural hatred for authority. It made perfect yet absolute sick sense.

"_You think you can trust them? It's all lies, it's smoke, and when people understand that, when they realize no one's looking out for you…"_

"Then they'll know fear." Jules finished for him. 9-1-1 communication, federal buildings, municipal buildings, educational institutions, banks, all targets that would not only cripple crucial structures but would demoralize a city watching in terror as the news unfolds.

"_Then they'll grow up_." She thought about the little boy on the sidewalk again. He wouldn't grow up. He wasn't given the chance. She took several controlled sniper breaths to control her anger as he continued. "_Five down, five to go."_

The call ended and Jules shoved the door open with more force than was really necessary, taking her frustration and anger out on the door. She confirmed for the rest of the team that there were a total of ten bombs even though they had heard the whole exchange. They knew the number of bombs but were no closer to knowing who the subject was. That's when Leah explained the lead they'd followed up. They could now narrow the participants down to one possibility: Marcus Faber. Spike asked Winnie to get them an address as he started to close up the computer. As Sam passed her on the way to his vehicle he touched her back, again it was just the briefest contact but enough to at least temporarily ground her. She hobbled her way back to the patrol car she'd commandeered. She'd have to maintain responsibility of it until she was able to return it.

At Faber's address, the others were out of the vehicles and rushing toward the door before Jules could even hobble her way to the back of the SUV to retrieve her gear. She inwardly cursed her wound and the pain that seemed to be getting worse as the day went on. She glanced down at the bandage and could see spots of red that had soaked through the bandage the medic on the scene had placed over the wound. It wasn't enough to be concerning but enough to serve as a reminder that she was more of a liability to the team right now than an asset.

As the rest of the team concentrated on tearing apart the apartment looking for anything that would tie Faber to the bombings, she sat down at a chair at the desk and began rifling through the contents. The news was playing on the TV screen on the desk further serving to remind her of the chaos the city was experiencing at the hands of the deranged man. She wished she had one of the entry tools in her hands at that moment. Having a go at a wall or two would be perfect for assuaging the frustration and anger that had been building in her as the day progressed.

Her heart skipped a beat when Sam found the bomb components and Spike discovered the trace amounts of radiation. She relaxed slightly when Spike assured them that it wasn't dangerous. The last thing she wanted to do was expose the baby to anything dangerous, nor did she want to see Sam dragged away by Hazmat for decontamination. They were so close to putting an end to the nightmare, she didn't want anything to get in the way. The presence of bomb material confirmed their suspicions that Faber was the bomber but Ed's discovery of the coordinates gave them what they needed to find the targets. Perhaps things were starting to look up.

And then Sarge's voice was back in her ear. She didn't know how he'd gotten radio contact back but she was grateful to hear his voice. She wanted to check on him, ask how he was but there would be time for that later. Ed relayed to him what they knew and then they used the coordinates to discover the remaining targets: a police station, EMS building, television station but before the last two targets could be named, Sarge interrupted with the big question about the timeline. Knowing where he was targeting wouldn't do much good if the bombs went off before they could get to them.

Sarge's own frustration was evident when he said he wasn't going to stay and wait for his blood tests. He was obviously feeling as useless as she was with her injured leg. Ed assured him that he should stay and that they had it. Jules could hear the reluctance in Greg's voice when he agreed to stay, although he quickly covered it by putting her to work. Together, with his voice in her ear, they would profile Faber and get in his head. They could do this. She related what she'd discovered thus far about Faber and started to upload the video she'd found. She also jotted down the address to another student involved in the experiment and announced that she was going to go talk to him. They needed more information on Faber. As she made her way to the door, Ed started to explain how the rest of the team would divide up the remaining targets to hunt for the bombs.

Sam stopped her on the porch and motioned for her to turn off her radio. He frowned. "Jules, are you okay? I've been watching you and that limp looks bad. Are you sure you are up for this? No one will think anything if you need to get that wound checked out, just like we don't question Sarge needing to wait for the blood tests to know he's okay from the radiation."

Jules put a flat hand against his chest over his heart. "I would. I need to be involved in this; we've got to put a stop to him before anyone else gets hurt. I won't lie, it hurts like anything but I can handle it. You've got my promise, as soon as this is over, I won't protest about letting a doctor look at it. For now though, we're running out of time."

Sam could see the pain in her eyes and realized it was just as much emotional pain as it was physical. He nodded. He looked around to make sure no one was looking and kissed her. This kiss was different from the ones they'd shared only hours earlier at the wedding; this one was both desperate and promising at the same time. A kiss that gave as much as it took. Then he caressed her cheek with the pad of his thumb. "I love you so much."

She nodded, her eyes bright and misty. "I love you too. I can't ask you not to do your job, especially not after I insisted on going into that rubble at the daycare. Just promise me you will be careful. Keep the peace but come back to me safe."

He nodded and gave her one more quick kiss before pulling away. "Your arms are exactly where I want to be; don't worry. I've got to get back to the others. I love you."

"I love you too." She started to walk away but stopped and caught his hand in her own. She gave it a squeeze before releasing him. As she painfully continued on to the car, she turned to look back to find he'd already gone inside to finish the plans with the team. A cold dread washed over her with the sudden fear that if she walked away, she might not ever see him again. She almost ran back to him, wounded leg forgotten to beg him not to go near the bomb. But she didn't. Lives were on the line and he had a job to do. She had to trust that everything was going to be okay.

As she drove she listened to the teams report in. Sam was at the EMS building. She said a silent prayer that he'd be okay. She couldn't shake the fear that the day was only going to get worse. Usually she was so in the thick of the action herself, she didn't have time to worry about anything. Almost as if he realized their thoughts and feelings were turbulent, Greg began to speak.

"_I know this is hard. We're split up; we don't know what we're walking into. But today's like any day; we walk through doors together, we're in each other's ears, and we've got each other covered. And even though I'm not there with you, my hand is on your backs, and don't forget that."_

Ed spoke the words they were probably all thinking. "_It works both ways, Greg."_

As Jules pulled up at the residence of the student in the experiment with Marcus Faber, she announced she was switching her radio to channel 4. The rest of the team was dealing with diffusing bombs and didn't need any distractions. Sarge and Winnie would be able monitor her traffic as well as the four rapid intervention teams. She listened as Tony related what he had gone through. As he told about the video of the little boy being tortured and how Holt insisted on the students calling a victim, she couldn't help but flashback to the boy on the street. As far as she knew, he was the littlest victim in Faber's rampage today. For the first time since she'd placed it beneath her vest, she thought about the blue blanket she'd found. She couldn't mourn Holt's death, not when his actions toward his students was what led in any way to what was happening today. But she could and would mourn the innocent lives that were lost as a result.

She could tell her questions were too much for the boy and that she'd gleaned all the information she could from him and his father. She apologized for having to dredge up painful memories and made her way back out to the car. She sat behind the wheel for a couple of moments, taking deep breaths to get her emotions under control. Her heart broke for Tony and the other students who suffered during Holt's experiments, and even though the same sympathy should extend to Faber, she couldn't feel sorry for him. No matter how atrociously he'd been treated, it didn't give him the right to take the extreme measures he'd taken today. Whatever outcome faced him when they found him, he deserved it and more. By the time she pulled away from the house and started toward the stadium to meet up with Sarge, her voice had lost that emotional quality. She keyed her microphone, ready to report what she'd found. Together she and the Boss could figure out Faber's next move.

"Hey Boss, I talked to Tony James. These kids were young, bright, eager to please, trusted authority. He used that authority to break 'em down."

"_Jules, Jules, wait."_

"Winnie sent me the files." Jules continued, oblivious to the panic in Sarge's voice or even his plea all together. "They all took the settlement money. Four of 'em left town, two of 'em are in drug rehab, and one's in jail. You either lash out or you self-destruct."

"_Jules, just stop, all right? Just go to channel one. It's Sam."_

It was a punch to the gut. She reached for her radio as her heart started to thud heavily in her chest. What did he mean, it's Sam? It's Sam what? "Sam, what's going on?"

The panic was in her voice and unspoken plea that he would tell her that everything was fine even though in her heart, she knew the day just wasn't going that way.

"_I've got time." _

"_Sam, no, you do not!" _At Spike's insistent urging, Jules pieced together enough to know what was going on. Sam was defusing his bomb and time was running out.

"Sam, do you need to get outta there?" That's right, she told herself. Give him the option to do the right thing. Be the teammate and not the overly emotional wife she wanted to be. He was doing his job, the same as she had earlier. Besides, he'd promised her he'd be careful and Sam wouldn't go back on his word.

"_It's working; I've got this."_

"Sam!" She still wasn't screaming. He was avoiding her question, a sure sign that he knew he was treading a thin line.

"_It's working. The temperature is going down. It's minus thirty-five degrees."_

Jules wanted to breathe a sigh of relief. Of course Sam knew what he was doing. Her relief was short-lived though as Spike's voice once more filled her ears. _"Sam, you drop your tools right now and you get yourself outta there right now!_

Jules cursed inwardly. How much time was on the timer? Spike didn't panic for no reason, especially where bombs were concerned. When it came to bombs, if Spike said it was no good, you didn't second guess him. "Sam, listen to him!"

"_Minus thirty-eight degrees!"_

She knew Sam was not that obstinate a person. If he was insisting on finishing the job it was either because he was confident he could succeed or because lives were at stake. But in this instance, she had to trust that Spike knew what he was talking about. She pressed the head set closer to her ear. "Sam, you listen to him!"

"_It's almost there!" _She could hear it in his voice then. He wouldn't walk away because doing so would mean defeat and he wasn't going to fail. Their pleas were falling on deaf ears.

She'd tried being the teammate and it wasn't working. Now it was time to be his wife and the mother of his child. She would not become a widow on the same day she became a wife. "Sam, we will not lose each other today!"

In the background she could hear the yells of the rest of the team, primarily Spike screaming for Sam to get out. She was still driving but her concentration was not on the road. Thankfully the reports had gone out about the danger the city faced and most people were staying off the road in case of more dirty bombs. Any sense of professionalism was out the window as her scream added to the others. "Sam, get out of there now!"

Sam didn't reply and she had no idea if he was listening or not. She could barely hear anything over the roaring in her ears. But there was no mistaking the explosion that seemed to follow seconds after her last plea. It sounded way too close to the radio. "Sam!"

She gasped and wanted to give in to the sobs that threatened to overwhelm her. Logic told her she should stop driving, pull over before she crashed into something. But she couldn't stop, had to keep going. If she stopped her world would come crashing in on her completely. She was glad Ed was trying to get Sam to respond because she couldn't form the words. Then Sarge's voice was once more in her ear.

"_Okay, team..team, I need you to hear me right now. I need you to keep safe. Spike? Spike! You listen to me, all right? We still need you, we all do, and whatever happened, you need to keep going. You hear me? You keep going! You all do!"_

He might have addressed his words to Spike so that he could help with defusing the bomb but Jules felt like he was talking directly to her. How could she go on? If Sam was gone, how could she keep going? Didn't Sarge realize her world was now so intertwined with Sam's that she couldn't exist without him? Her sobs filled the patrol car; barely contained emotion just waiting to unleash itself completely.

Sam's words from that morning echoed in her ears. '_Til death parts us and even after. _Those were supposed to be words that they meant but wouldn't have to really acknowledge for years, decades after the wedding. Certainly not just mere hours after they were spoken. It couldn't end like this. She couldn't lose him. How could she ever tell this baby how perfect and wonderful Sam was so that he or she really knew? She barely registered the coughs and what they meant until the most welcome sound filled her ear.

"What the Boss said, guys. Trust me, you don't wanna do this the hard way."

Jules gasped in relief. As much as she wanted to smack him for being flip she appreciated his words for what they really meant. He might have been momentarily too stunned by the explosion to speak, but he'd been conscious of what was said enough to make a comment on it. He really was okay. "Sam Braddock, you do not do that to me again."

There was more that needed to be said and she would, later when it was just the two of them. For now, she'd just be glad that he was okay. That's all that really mattered in the moment.

"_That's the last bomb he's gonna blow up today!" _Spike's relief that he'd not lost another friend to an explosion was almost as palpable as her own. She took heart in his words. The other bombs would be defused and they would find Faber.

She completely forgot there was one bomb unaccounted for.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Notes: This chapter picks up after Sam is safe and goes to the end of the episode before the One Year Later scene. There will be a third chapter that deals with the immediate aftermath of the crisis. Hope you enjoy. Would love to hear your thoughts.

Disclaimer: The show Flashpoint and its characters were created by Mark Ellis and Stephanie Morgenstern and belong to them and its respective networks. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Hand on My Back; Voice in My Ear

Chapter 2

Sam was safe. Sam wasn't injured. Sam hadn't been killed. Her family was intact. She hadn't become a wife and a window in the same day. Sam was safe…

Jules had to let the litany of reassurances run through her mind on continuous play. Her heart was still pounding and her emotions completely raw from hearing the explosion and not being sure if Sam had survived or not. Her fear had been so profound that for once even hearing his voice in her ear hadn't alleviated it completely. Those fears wouldn't be erased until she could lay eyes and hands on him in person. Perhaps not even then.

"Okay Jules." Again Greg's voice was in her ear, bringing her back to the situation at hand. There would be time to process her own emotions later when the crisis was over. "Let's just cut to the chase, all right? We gotta find that last bomb. Let's nail who this guy is."

She knew he wasn't talking about discovering his identity because they knew without a doubt that it was Faber but about going deeper and getting into his head to figure out where he would have put the last bomb. She took a deep breath. "Yeah, I'm getting mixed messages."

"I'm with you." Again, she got the double meaning in his tone. He wasn't just agreeing with her assessment but also as a gentle assurance that he knew what she was going through and that he had her back. She could almost feel a gentle pressure there as if his hand was on her back supporting her emotionally.

"The manifesto's all about fighting back against forces of control, like he's on some twisted mission to help people. Free them from government, or whatever."

"Yeah but if you're gonna help people, you don't kill their children." At his words, Jules once more flashed to the little boy in the street and the fearful faces of the children she'd rescued from the daycare. The truly innocent victims in all this; no way could Marcus justify their involvement in his plan, not even as necessary collateral damage to spur a people into action. "This is about Marcus being in control."

"He doesn't wanna feel like a victim anymore," Jules postulated. "So he shows Holt, beats him at his own game. Shows the word he's in control, he's the boss."

"This is about Marcus being in control." Sarge repeated. She knew it was with purpose. In order to figure out the plan, they had to get into his head. She was glad Sarge was going to do that because it wasn't a place she wanted to visit even in theory. "All, I'm Marcus. I'm gonna reduce my world to black and white. Two kinds of people: the strong and the weak." There was a pause, but Jules could almost hear the wheels turning in his head before he continued. "Jules I think I know where the last bomb is. I think it's right here."

No, no, no. Not another teammate, scratch that, not another loved one in jeopardy. Hadn't they already suffered enough? Surely she misunderstood him. "The bomb's right there in the stadium? How can you be sure?"

"I'm not, but wouldn't it explain why Marcus didn't have the location of the last bomb?"

Son of a… It wouldn't have been hard for him to figure that with multiple bomb sites and such mass casualties, there would be a need for a large space to contain the overflow. Practically every major catastrophe told the same story. A central location filled with both the authority figures he hated and the victims he didn't want to be numbered among any more. It was a tricky maneuver, not one he could have fully planned for ahead of time. She adjusted her ear piece. "Yes, and he wouldn't have known it himself until about an hour ago when they mentioned the triage on the news."

She could almost picture him looking around the stadium, assessing the situation. "Jules a lot of these people can't be moved easily. It's gonna take a lot more time than we might have." That meant evacuation wouldn't be effective; he didn't have to say it for her to know it was true, but she didn't want to hear what he had to say next. "Best chance is finding that bomb, and defusing it."

Again there was a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. Planting a bomb took time, especially the ones they'd been dealing with all day. Since he'd only had an hour to work with, that could only mean one thing. "Okay, Boss, if this is a last-minute target, he still could be there. You watch yourself!" On a good day, her tone could be considered insubordinate but in the light of the losses they'd sustained that day and how close she'd- they'd- come to losing Sam as well, she knew he would see it as the concern it really was.

"Okay, just send me a photo." She'd sent him the video so she knew he knew what the target looked like. More than likely, he was giving her a task to give her something to do.

She knew her mentor well. Knew he believed in words as the greatest weapon in their arsenal. He could and would use his weapon if needed, but he considered it a failure on his part if he had to. That meant that sometimes he kept negotiations going long after they should have reasonably been abandoned for a more lethal option. She had to make sure that he knew upfront that would not work in this case. "Now, listen, I don't think talk is an option, okay? He's not gonna wanna be psychoanalyzed, especially by a guy in uniform. You are everything that he hates."

"Yeah, copy that." There was a note of resignation in his voice but it wasn't enough for Jules. She wanted to be there, to shake him, to remind him - not for the first time, thank you very much- that he wasn't invincible and that they all needed him.

She increased her speed. She couldn't do anything behind the wheel of the car. She had to get to the stadium, had to be able to be useful. So much had happened that she'd been powerless to do anything but react. She wasn't sure what she thought she'd be able to do once she reached the stadium. Her leg would prevent her from doing much at all. She listened to the chatter in her ear; the realization that Faber would want maximum destruction and that would mean a dirty bomb. All those people were at the stadium either to help or to be helped; they had trusted that after seeing the worst, they were now safe. Instead, Faber had led them to what he hoped would be their doom, like lambs to their slaughter.

She pulled up at the stadium with an SUV pulling in almost directly behind her. She hoped it was Sam; she needed to see him, needed the further reassurance that he really was okay after such a close call. Even if they didn't have time for anything other than a look, she needed him. But it was Ed. She held on to the door frame as she got out of the car. "It's taking way too long."

Ed informed Greg that they were on scene and that the evacuation was a mess. And it was. Chaos that didn't even have a hint of being organized. It was only moments later that Greg announced he'd found the bomb in the top level of the catwalk. Jules was right behind Ed as he announced he was on his way up.

"Negative, Negative. Ed, this one's definitely dirty. I need you to clear everyone away and get everyone out of range."

Jules's stomach turned as Greg explained to Spike the nature of the radioactive material connected to the bomb. Though they had suspected that Faber would make this one a dirty bomb, the confirmation raised the stakes. It wasn't enough to just clear the building, they had to get everyone upwind and a safe distance in case they weren't successful in defusing it. When he said the timer was set for three minutes and forty seconds; she knew they didn't have much time. At best there was no way to clear the building itself let alone the whole area. It seemed so hopeless.

And then a second SUV pulled up and Sam emerged. Even from a distance, their eyes immediately sought each other out and locked. There was so much she needed to say to him, so much she needed to hear but it would have to wait. There were innocent lives that needed protecting. When he mouthed the words I'm sorry and I love you, she smiled and nodded. Those words would be enough, at least for now. Once again, she had to put the pain in her leg aside; there was no time to waste getting the worst of the injured loaded into ambulances, police cars, any available vehicle. She barely paid attention to Spike giving Sarge directions on how to defuse the bomb. Once again she found herself cradling a small child in her arms as she carried an injured boy to a police car. Then she turned and went back for more victims.

She was relieved to hear that it didn't appear that this bomb had any anti-handling devices. Perhaps they would catch a break defusing it before the timer ran out. Then a gun shot filled her ear. Sarge was under fire, presumably from Faber. She looked up from evacuation attempts as Ed called for Sam and they ran in to the stadium. As she assisted another victim into an awaiting ambulance, she heard Greg grunt in pain; she knew that sound perfectly. He'd been hit by one of the gunshots. _Please be in the vest, _she prayed silently. His confirmation that the vest had stopped the bullet didn't ease her worry considering there was still rapid gun fire going on around her.

This time when he cried out in pain, she knew the bullet hadn't found his vest but actually hit him. Unbidden tears slipped down her cheeks as she willed Sam and Ed to get to him quickly. At the same time she cursed her own inability to help. More gunshots and then another hoarse cry of pain from Sarge. Jules leaned against the back of an ambulance and buried her head in the crook of her arm She didn't even try to stem the tears. Earlier she'd only had her fears and silence that suggested Sam hadn't survived the blast. This time she could hear every painful moment of what was happening to her mentor and friend.

She could hear his desperate condition as he talked to the subject. "Marcus? Marcus, listen to me. I know I'm not gonna try to talk you down, and I'm not gonna try to talk you down because I know you don't care. Oh, you tried to hurt those around me. You killed kids, you killed people I love, and I know you don't feel any fear anymore because your message is already out there. That feels good doesn't it? Your will, your messages will live on. Mission accomplished."

Jules shook her head. No, it shouldn't be that way. Marcus Faber couldn't win. His mission couldn't be accomplished. She wanted to scream at him much the way she'd screamed at Sam earlier. It would not end this way. It couldn't.

"Sorry…Sorry it didn't work out because I just stopped your bomb. And my team stopped your other bombs. Your message isn't going anywhere. Your message is going nowhere. You're done! You're done!"

Two more gunshots rang out and Jules closed her eyes, not wanting but needing to know what had happened. Without thought of the civilians around her or her injured leg, she started toward the stadium. The bomb was defused and she couldn't stay away. Dimly she heard Leah call her name but she ignored the newest member of the team. Greg Parker had always been there for her, a hand on her back and a voice in her ear when she needed it. Now it was her turn to do the same.

She knew it was bad as she heard Sam's voice call out. "We have an officer down! We need EMS to the upper level now! I repeat, officer down!"

She could count on one hand the number of times she'd heard Sam sound that panic stricken. If he was that bothered by what was happening, then things were truly grim. Every step she took, especially as it came to climbing the different levels. She had to stop every five steps or so in order to catch her breath against the pain. Every word she heard from the catwalk cut to her very soul, especially when Sam screamed out the need for a medic.

Forgetting the pain all together, she started to run the remaining way up the stairs. She could hear the thudding of footsteps running up behind her and moved out of the way to allow the medics to pass her. Steve was with them and he stopped and gripped her arm. "Jules, you okay? You're bleeding."

She glanced down to see that the bandage on her leg was now soaked with fresh blood. She must have opened the wound back up with all the moving she'd done. She bit back a groan of pain. "I'm fine. Please, you've got to save Sarge. Go."

Steve looked dubious but nodded. He took off after his colleagues. Jules watched him go, taking steadying breaths to get the pain to subside. She wanted to collapse on to the floor of the stadium when Dean pleaded with his father to hold on. With an agonizing groan of pain, she continued on, listening to Ed talk to Sarge.

"You did it, buddy, you defused the bomb. Are you trying to put Spike out of a job? Huh? I got you… I got you. They're on their way. We're gonna get you out of this."

"Jules." Sam reached her side and wrapped an arm around her waist. If she had to guess, Steve had sent him to check on her. "Come on Sweetheart, let's get you to one of the ambulances. It's time to get that leg seen to properly."

She shook her head. "I need to see him."

Sam cupped her face lovingly in his hands. She'd been through so much today; he wanted to spare her any more pain. How could he tell her that it didn't look good? "No, you don't. Please trust me on that."

"Sam, either help me or get out of my way. As much as I love you and trust your word, this isn't something you can protect me from."

Sam nodded. He could have carried her the remaining way; her slight weight was certainly nothing he couldn't handle. But he knew to do so would make her feel weak. Instead, he just made it so she could take all of her weight off her leg. Together they slowly made their way up to the catwalk. A hand that didn't belong to Sam gripped her shoulder and she looked back. Spike and Leah had joined them. She was almost certain that the look of horror and fear she saw on their faces mirrored her own expression. As a team and as a family, they made their way toward their injured leader.

Before they could even get close, they could hear Ed screaming for the medics. Spike and Leah passed the newly married couple, afraid they didn't have time to wait. Jules looked up at Sam, her eyes bright with tears. "Sam, get me there. Please."

Without her needing to ask again, Sam lifted her in his arms and increased his speed. Spike and Leah had stopped about seven feet shy of where the medics were working on Greg. Sam stopped beside them and lowered Jules gently to her feet. She took a couple of steps closer and none of the three tried to stop her. Steve had ripped away the Kevlar vest. He looked at his partners. "No heartbeat, we need the defibrillator. We've got to shock him. Come on Greg, we're not going to lose you today."

Steve placed the paddles on either side of Greg's chest and called "Clear."

Jules sank painfully to her knees, not even trying to hide the sobs. After two more shocks, Steve's partner shook his head. Ed screamed at all of the assembled medics that they weren't allowed to give up. It couldn't be over. Greg had to be okay.

Steve looked at Ed. "I'm sorry…"

"NO!" The ragged scream tore from Jules's throat. "Damn you Boss. Don't you dare give up on us. We can't lose you. Not now, not like this. You fight, do you hear me? Fight and live."

Steve couldn't bear the pain he heard in her voice. He told his partner to charge the paddles one more time and he shocked Greg again. He put his finger to Greg's neck. He looked back at Team One. "We have a pulse."


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Notes: The next installment of the post ep. I thought it was going to be the final chapter but it just sort of took on a life of its own. So there'll be at least one maybe two more chapters. Sorry it has taken me so long to get back to this one. I had to finish the Christmas stories while it was still Christmas time. This is based on what I think could have happened in the immediate aftermath of the bombings.

** And for the annoymous reviewer who so "kindly" pointed out the error about the Abou Guess. That was apparently a ffnet change not an author's mistake. For some reason it would not allow the combination of letters and numbers and I did not realize it when I uploaded the chapter because it was correct in the original. I have now corrected the problem.

Disclaimer: The show Flashpoint and its characters were created by Mark Ellis and Stephanie Morgenstern and belong to them and its respective networks. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Hand on My Back; Voice in My Ear

Chapter 3

Sam pulled the SUV up right behind the ambulance at the Emergency Room entrance. He could see two more SUV's pulling in behind him. One immediately veered off to the parking structure while the rear one stopped long enough to let Leah out before following the other SUV. She ran up to Sam's window.

"Go ahead and get Jules inside; I'm taking your vehicle to HQ to pick up Dean."

Sam nodded his thanks and got out. He jogged around the front of the vehicle to the passenger side. Jules was standing with her weight on one leg holding on to the door, her gaze unwavering as hospital orderlies rushed to the back doors of the ambulance and opened. The stretcher carrying Sarge was quickly unloaded and wheeled toward the Emergency entrance.

"Jules? You ready?" His voice was barely above a whisper but the concern was loud and clear. She'd been too quiet on the ride from the stadium to the hospital. Every attempt he'd made to engage her in conversation had been met with silence. He gazed down into her eyes that had seen more in the last few hours than anyone should ever have to see in a lifetime. He had a pretty good idea where her thoughts were at the moment. Despite the fact that the medics had gotten a pulse back while they were at the stadium, Greg's condition was still grave. They would all be devastated if he didn't survive but Sam knew without it being said that Jules would feel the loss maybe more than the rest of them. Greg was her friend and mentor; the one who had taken a chance on her when most people believed that SRU was just a man's world with no place for a petite but feisty female sniper. When she still didn't answer, Sam reached out and softly touched her cheek. "Sweetheart?"

She blinked a couple of times and focused on him. She nodded. "He's going to be okay, right?"

Sam couldn't and wouldn't lie to her even if it was what she wanted to hear but he couldn't take away all hope either. "He's not going to give up without a major fight. Come on, let's get inside."

She hobbled away from the vehicle and closed the door and Sam immediately slid an arm around her to help support her weight. The adrenaline that had allowed her to carry on despite her injury, despite her grief, and despite the overwhelming urge to just curl up into a ball in Sam's arms and give in to the raw emotion that had been just below the surface had dissipated as she watched Steve and the other medics fight to save Sarge's life. In its place was pain, physical agony that increased with every jarring step and emotional devastation from the atrocities she'd witnessed and the ones she'd feared would still claim those she loved. She couldn't give into the pain though, no matter how much she was tempted; not until she knew that the boss was going to be okay and she was in the privacy and security of her own home with Sam beside her.

The inside of the Emergency Department was chaotic at best but that was to be expected after everything that had happened as a result of Faber's rampage. Sam surveyed the scene and found where a harried ER doctor was leaning over Greg, examining his injuries. The newlyweds made their way to them, trying not to get in the way. The doctor straightened.

"He's critical; let's get him straight up to surgery. Marta, call Dr. Sorens; tell him he's got a GSW to the chest and leg on the way. Let's get a cross and match at least three units of blood from the blood bank so it's waiting in the OR; he's going to need more than a few units to replenish what he's lost. Let's move, STAT."

"He's going to make it though, right Doc?" Jules found her voice again in order to pose essentially the same question she'd asked Sam; it sounded odd to her own ears because it was her normal tone and didn't seem to match the inner turmoil she was feeling.

He glanced at her with a frown. The truth was he didn't give the man on the stretcher much in the way of odds of survival, the damage just appeared to be too great. He didn't believe in lying to families, sugarcoating information, or giving them false hope. At the same time, he looked first at the young woman demanding answers, then at the man holding on to her like he was afraid she'd slip away if he didn't hold on tightly, then to the other two uniformed officers just now joining them. He didn't know the full story about what had happened to the city that day, but he'd heard enough to know that the teams with the Strategic Response Unit had sacrificed a lot to make sure it wasn't much worse. He couldn't look them in the eye and add to their agony, not after the service they'd shown the city. "We'll know more after surgery. There's a waiting room on the eighth floor that'll put you closer to him while you wait." Then he glanced down at Jules's bleeding leg. "In the meantime, let's get you to curtain three and get you fixed up."

Sam tightened his grip on her waist to lead her in the direction that the doctor had indicated. Jules looked up at him, her eyes wide and she shook her head. "No, Sam; it can wait. We need to be there for…"

The new husband leaned down and lightly kissed her forehead. "Sarge will be in surgery for awhile probably; he'd want you to get that leg checked out. Besides, you promised me once we got things settled, you'd let a doctor treat you. It's time."

"Sam's right, Jules." Ed agreed, his voice was tight and almost clipped. Jules looked at him and could see the stress of the day wearing on him. With everything going on, she'd forgotten how much Ed had been affected as well. He reached out and gripped her shoulder. "As your friend, I'm asking you to listen to the doctor and to your husband and get checked out. As your TL, I'm ordering you to do so. I don't want to have to worry about you or the next generation of the Callaghan/Braddock line on top of everything else."

Jules bit her lower lip. They'd all suffered today but Ed might have suffered the most. He hadn't known whether Clark was alive or dead trapped in that garage. Donna had died after he'd insisted that she leave the search for Clark. Ed had given Sam the order to go to the EMS building that almost resulted in his death. Now Sarge, his best friend, was fighting for his life. What right did she have to make things any worse for him? "Okay, I'll let them treat me on one condition. Sam, you go on up with the others and wait for word on Sarge."

Her husband of less than twelve hours frowned, ready to protest that his place was at her side, especially if she was injured. She shook her head. "I mean it Sam. As much as my leg hurts, it's a nothing wound. I'll be fine. I'll stay down here and let the doctor treat me but I need to know that you are there for Sarge while I can't be. I need you to be there for the both of us. Please."

Sam could tell it was important to her; so as much as he wanted to be there with her every step of the way, he would give her what she needed. "Okay, let me help you get settled in the exam area and then I'll go with the others to the surgical waiting room."

He led her to the curtained area the doctor had indicated and then helped her up on the exam bed, mindful of her injured leg. He cupped her face in his hands. "Jules, this isn't how I pictured our wedding day. It should have been nothing but happiness and instead…"

She cut him off by tugging on his uniform shirt so that his face was close enough that she could kiss him. Once his lips were on hers, she wasn't sure that a single kiss could be enough to undo the horrors of her day. Sam apparently felt the same way because he practically crushed her to his chest. Emotions they couldn't yet convey in words were exchanged in their kisses.

A throat was cleared behind them at the entrance of the exam area and Sam reluctantly broke off the kiss. He glanced back to see a nurse watching them apologetically. "I'm sorry, Dr. Barns asked me to get you changed so he could examine you. I'll give you a moment."

Sam caressed Jules's cheek. "Are you sure you don't want me to stay? I know being poked and prodded by doctors isn't up there on your list of fun things to do."

Jules nodded. "Yeah, but not being there when Sarge needs us all is even worse. If I can't be there for him just now, I really need you to be there for both of us. I'll be fine." She took his hand in her own and placed it on her stomach. "We'll be fine. I'll join you in the waiting room as soon as I can."

Sam frowned. "Only if the doctor says it's okay. I mean it, Jules. Whatever he says, you listen to it. If he thinks you need to be admitted overnight or anything, then agree to it."

Jules rolled her eyes. "Fine, but it's not really the way I want to spend my wedding night. Just saying."

A small grin tried to turn up the corners of Sam's mouth. "Trust me, Sweetheart; I want nothing more than to take you home and lock us in and hold you close all night long. But only if that's what's best for you and the baby. I love you. If you need me back down here, I'm only a phone call away."

As Sam left the cubicle, Jules knew it was with as much reluctance as when he'd agreed to let her go through the rubble at the daycare. She felt bad and almost called him back in to tell him he could stay. Today hadn't been easy for him any more than it had been for her; no one could or would fault them for needing the comfort of the other now that the terrible day was finally coming to a close. However, as much as she wanted him to stay and as much as she knew he wanted to stay, she couldn't shake the fear that if there weren't enough people holding vigil while Sarge was in surgery, something bad could happen. So, though it wasn't what either of them really wanted, she let him leave with another silent promise to herself to make it up to him later.

The nurse crossed the room to stand next to the exam bed. "Did I understand that the two of you are newlyweds?"

Jules nodded. "Just got married this morning."

The nurse whistled. "And you got called back in to work this mess? I heard that it was all hands on deck but that sounds harsh. Then again from what little I've been able to see on the news and from what I've seen of the injured that have come in here today, the whole situation is nothing but harsh. What did you hurt your leg on?"

Jules decided it wasn't important to explain why she and Sam were working on their wedding day. Instead, she concentrated on the question at hand. "Exposed rebar caught it while we were trying to rescue kids from a daycare. A medic on scene cleaned and dressed the wound but I guess I've walked on it too much since then."

The nurse handed her a gown. "You think you can slip out of your uniform and put this on for me? If you can, we might be able to at least salvage it enough that you can wear it home."

Jules nodded and took the gown. She unfastened her Kevlar vest and slipped it off her shoulders. The blue blanket she'd stuffed between her vest and uniformed earlier in the afternoon fell into her lap. She fingered it gingerly; in all the excitement she had forgotten all about it. The little boy on the sidewalk, Donna, Jimmy, and countless others hadn't survived Faber's bloodbath on the city. Was Sarge's name going to be added to that list? A single tear ran down her cheek, but she didn't bother to wipe it away.

The nurse watched her sympathetically. "Daycare, huh? You know, I helped treat a little boy who was rescued from the day care at the Federal building explosion. He was telling me about this superwoman cop who lifted a heavy beam off of him with her bare hands. That wouldn't have been you, would it?"

Jules snorted as she set the blanket beside her on the bed and finished disrobing. A superwoman cop would have been able to do more, would have been able to save the little boy on the sidewalk and would have been able to do more to help the team as they chased across the city tracking down Faber. She was as far from a superwoman cop as you could get. "I think he exaggerated quite a bit. I used a jack to leverage enough space between the floor and the beam so we could pull him out. Is he okay?"

The nurse nodded; she shouldn't really discuss the condition of one patient with another but couldn't begrudge the officer the need to know there was some good news amidst all the bad. "He'll be fine. We moved him upstairs but that was more for observation than anything. The use of a jack aside, I think he called it pretty accurately. I've been a nurse for ten years and in that time I've never seen the extent of some of the horrors that have come in this ER today. I can only imagine how much worse it was actually out there on the streets. There have been times today I was ready to call it quits because it was just too difficult to walk out and tell someone their loved one didn't make it. If I'd been out there where you were, I know I would have."

The nurse helped her tie the gown in the back and then looked at the blood soaked bandage. "The doctor should be in here in a moment. Do you remember the date of your last tetanus shot?"

Tetanus was just one of the shots she'd received the day the bio lab had exploded sending shrapnel into her arm and anthrax into the air. "Yeah, I'm good; it's been less than a year. I'm three months pregnant."

The nurse nodded. "Any abdominal pains today? Spotting? Any concerns about the baby?"

Jules shook her head. "No, I think we're fine; I just don't want you to give me anything that might hurt the baby."

"Not a problem." The nurse handed her a clipboard with paperwork on it. "As crazy as things are, we're limiting the paperwork we're taking to just what we absolutely must have. Think you can fill this out for me while you're waiting on the doctor? If nothing else it'll give you something to do while you wait."

Jules took the clipboard as the nurse left the exam room. She was just about to write Callaghan for last name when she stopped herself. Then she proudly spelled out Braddock instead. She'd had such different plans for this first day as Sam's wife. Even though they both had to work, she'd hoped it would be a quiet day. She was going to stare at her wedding band until she felt herself go cross-eyed, and then she was going to stare at her husband in much the same way even if it meant the rest of the team teased her about it. She was going to mark off each hour until it was time for the reception.

She bit her bottom lip. The reception on the party boat, how were they supposed to have that now? She reached for her cell phone and dialed her father's number. He answered immediately and she wondered if he'd been practically sitting on the phone waiting for her to call. "Hey Dad."

"_You okay, Pumpkin? I've been watching the news but they don't give the kind of details I needed to hear."_

"I'm safe; Sam's safe…" Memories of those moments in the patrol car when she hadn't been as convinced that the latter was true flooded over her and threatened to overwhelm her. She choked back a sob but her father must have still heard it anyway.

"_Pumpkin, what's wrong? Where are you? Do you need me to meet you somewhere?" _His worry was evident and enough to make her want to break down completely. She was now a married woman with a baby on the way; how was it possible that her father's voice could make her feel like a small child again? If only this was one of those times she could curl up in his lap and he could chase all her monsters away.

"I don't think Sam and I can have the reception tonight. Everything is still crazy and Sarge was shot and they don't know…" She cut herself off, unable to finish or she really would break down completely.

"_Jules,_ _deep breaths. Don't worry about the reception. Everyone will understand. Let me take care of that for you. Pumpkin, where's Sam?"_

Though he didn't say it, she was sure he was questioning whether she really was okay and was hoping Sam could further assure him. The doctor and the nurse stepped into the cubicle and Jules knew she had to get off the phone. "Daddy, I have to go. Thanks for handling things for me; I'll call you later. I love you."

She hung up before he could question her any more. The doctor smiled at her kindly. "My daughter is your age and lives far away from Toronto so I knew she was safe today. Still, I had to call and check on her after the first wave of criticals were taken care of." Jules nodded, sure that the only thing that had kept her father from calling and checking on her at least a dozen times since she talked to him last was the fact that as a former cop himself, he knew how crazy such incidents got. The doctor started cutting away at the bandage the medic at the Federal Building had carefully wrapped around her leg. The metal of the scissors was cold against her skin. "I understand you caught a piece of rebar. That had to hurt. How's the pain?"

"Pain's pain." Jules gave him the same answer she'd given the female medic. The doctor frowned.

"True, but here we can manage it pretty well. How about rating it on a scale from one to ten."

She sighed. "About a seven I guess." The doctor glanced at the nurse and ordered a painkiller. Jules paled. "I'm pregnant. I can't take…"

He shook his head before she could finish her statement. "I know you're pregnant and yes, you can. It's perfectly safe, especially for short term use. Much safer than the effect uncontrolled pain can have on the rest of your body."

Jules wasn't completely mollified but didn't protest further. She had to trust he knew what he was doing and she couldn't deny that the pain was starting to get to her. For a few minutes the cubicle was quiet as the doctor worked. Then he glanced up at her. "The news is saying the danger is over. Is that true? You people got the guy responsible?"

Jules nodded. "We got him. All his bombs have been defused but I think we'll still be feeling the effects of what he's done for awhile."

"No doubt about that." He began to wrap a fresh bandage around the now stitched wound. "You are a lucky young woman. The rebar didn't penetrate too deeply into your leg and didn't damage any nerves or tendons. I know it probably doesn't seem that way right now but it could have been a lot worse."

She glanced down at the blue blanket still sitting beside her on the exam bed. It was a visual reminder of just how much worse things had been out there. The doctor could repair the wound to her leg but there was nothing he could do to fix the damage done to her heart during this call. She sighed. "I think I have an idea."

Dr. Barns looked into her eyes and nodded. The pain there went much deeper than the wound or the worry over her colleague. As horrible as the some of the cases that had come into the ER had been, he knew he hadn't even scratched the surface of how bad it had been on the street. "Yeah, I guess you do. Still, your wound is serious. It's going to extremely painful for more than a few days and there's a greater chance of infection - not only because of all the dirt and grime you were exposed to out there but because your pregnancy makes you more susceptible to infection. I'm going to prescribe a painkiller and an antibiotic - both perfectly safe in your condition. I also want you to use crutches for a few days to keep weight off the wound."

Jules opened her mouth to protest. She hated crutches, hated how weak and helpless they made her feel. She closed her mouth without saying anything. Sam had asked her to listen to what the doctor said, and didn't she owe it to Sam to grant him that wish? Still, it seemed a little excessive considering she'd been walking on it all day. "Is that really necessary?"

The doctor nodded. "Yes, I think it is. Not only will it help the pain and reduce the chance of you ripping open the stitches, it'll also be better for the baby."

At the mention of the baby, Jules's eyes widened. "What do you mean? It's a leg wound; how can it hurt the baby?"

"Crutches will help stabilize you while you can't put your full weight on your leg. They'll lessen your chances of falling. You wouldn't want to fall and risk harm to the baby, right?"

Jules blew out her breath. "You know I don't. Fine, I'll use the crutches." Not that Sam would probably let her on her feet long enough to really need them. Not that she'd treat him any differently if their situations were reversed.

The doctor gave the nurse directions on what he wanted her to do and then left. There was no time with an ER full of patients needing treatment to linger with any one patient too long. Once the two women were alone, the nurse explained about keeping the stitches dry and what follow-up Jules should do with her regular physician. Then she left to get the crutches as Jules once more got dressed.

Outside the cubicle, the hysterical voice of a woman overpowered the other sounds in the busy ER. "Please, he's got to be here. Ethan Cumberland. Please, check your records. I've checked every other hospital and he wasn't in any of them. Please, I have to find him; he's just a little boy, and he needs me. He must be so scared."

The nurse checked to make sure Jules was dressed and then pulled the curtain back. Jules ignored the crutches in the RN's hands and nodded toward the direction of the commotion. "What's that about?"

The nurse frowned, looking more than a little sad. "Mass casualty incidents like this are hard. The injured are scattered from hospital to hospital, records are spotty. People are desperate for information on their loved ones and the best they can do is go looking from hospital to hospital, hoping for word. Because they know if they can't find them in one of the emergency departments…."

"They're probably in one of the makeshift morgues," Jules finished for her. She picked up the blue blanket and wondered if its owner's mother was making the rounds hoping to find her little boy still alive. She clutched the scrap of material closer and once more thought about those moments between the explosion and Sam's voice on the radio assuring her he was alive and unharmed. She looked out toward the nurses' desk where an attractive but distraught black woman was begging the clerk for information. Her resemblance to the little boy on the sidewalk was unmistakable. Jules's heart leapt to her throat. She looked at the nurse. "Could you ask her to come here?"

The nurse nodded and stepped back out. Jules pushed the blanket out of sight before the woman could arrive, not wanting to upset the woman if she was wrong. The woman stepped hesitantly into the cubicle, looking confused but yet hopeful at the same time. "The nurse said you asked to see me."

Jules nodded. "Yes, Ma'am. I couldn't help but here you are looking for your son. Do you believe he was caught in one of the explosions?"

The woman nodded. "He was in the daycare at the Federal Building. I heard about the explosion and I wanted to rush there immediately to check on him but they were telling people to stay away. When I finally got there, they wouldn't let me in the building; they said it wasn't safe. They said they kids were rescued and sent to the hospital to be checked out. I've checked them all but nobody knows anything about Ethan."

"I was at the Federal Building earlier." Jules admitted, her gut twisting at the ever increasing feeling that this woman was the mother of the little boy on the sidewalk whose death had so devastated her. "Do you…" A lump formed in her throat and she tried to swallow past it. She was a trained SRU negotiator; she knew how put her personal feelings aside. "I'm sorry, I know you are worried about your son but do you have a picture of him? Perhaps I saw him."

Inwardly she wanted to kick herself for possibly giving the woman false hope but at the same time she didn't want to unnecessarily upset her either. With shaky hands, the mother handed over a picture she'd obviously been clutching desperately for hours now, showing it to anyone who would give her the opportunity, hoping each time that someone would tell her about her son.

It was the same boy, although it was hard to compare the vibrant little boy grinning broadly for the camera to the lifeless figure she'd been forced to black tag earlier in the day. Jules closed her eyes. The lump she'd tried to swallow past seemed to grow in her throat, threatening to completely choke her. Her hand reached for the blanket and she drew it out to offer it to the mother. She wasn't completely sure if the strangled cry came from her or the mother.

"That's Ethan's. He can't go anywhere without it. You have seen him. He must be so scared, especially without his blanket. Is he here? Can you take me to him."

Jules motioned for the woman to sit down beside her on the bed. "My team and I arrived at the scene not long after the explosion. Ethan was on the sidewalk. I don't know why he was there instead of in the daycare with the rest of the children. I'm sorry, so very sorry. There was nothing I nor anyone else could do. I wish I could have."

Ethan's mother began to sob, the heart wrenching sobs that Jules wanted to give into herself. Fresh tears ran down her own cheeks as she reached out the squeeze the woman's shoulder. The nurse who had helped treat Jules stepped into the cubicle and pulled the curtain closed to give them privacy.

The mother shook her head. "It can't be true. How can my baby who was alive and healthy this morning when I dropped him off be dead only hours later? What kind of monster plants a bomb in a building with children inside?"

Jules didn't bother to tell her about Marcus Faber or the twisted reasons he had for what he'd done. It wouldn't make her feel better. Besides, men like Faber didn't deserve to be the topics of conversation. Better to keep the conversation on the ones that should be remembered and discussed. Little boys like Ethan, courageous officers like Donna and Jimmy, the victims whose lives had been cut short due to Faber's actions; they were the ones whose names should cross the lips of those who talked about today's losses. "I know it doesn't help, but I don't think Ethan suffered. His blanket was right beside him and I tried to cover him with it but I guess somehow it fell off when they moved him. I found it on the sidewalk as I was leaving the scene and couldn't stand to see it get tossed away."

Clutching the blanket close to her body as if she was holding the son she'd lost, the mother glanced over at her. "Thank you. I don't think too many would have bothered. I brought him home from the hospital wrapped in this blanket and as he got bigger, it became his favorite. Do you have children?"

Jules put her hand to her stomach. "I'm expecting my first around Christmas."

"Treasure every moment you get. It's not fair, parents aren't supposed to outlive their children. So many things he'll never get to do. It's not fair."

The nurse touched the woman's back. "Mrs. Cumberland, we have a social worker who's trying to work with families to help them locate their lost loved ones so arrangements can be made. Would you like for me to take you to her? I can call someone for you if you'd like."

The woman nodded and looked back at Jules. "I don't even want to think about all the things you had to see today. So much death and destruction, and yet you remembered my son. Thank you for caring."

Jules could only nod as the woman left the cubicle with the nurse. She picked up the crutches and stood. Putting her weight on her uninjured leg was easier with the crutches to lean on and she was glad the doctor had insisted. As she waited for the elevator to open, she glanced back into the ER proper. The activity in the room was still buzzing as she imagined it had been since the first ambulances had arrived with the first of the injured. Yeah, Marcus was dead and six of the ten bombs had been defused before they exploded, but the city would continue to feel the effects of what he'd done for much longer.

The elevator opened with a ding and she stepped inside and pressed the 8 button to go to the surgical waiting room where Sam and the others were waiting. She was alone in the car and that suited her just fine. She watched the red numbers change as the elevator bypassed the first seven floors. When it opened on the requested floor she continued to stand there, unable to move. She wanted to; wanted to sink down in whatever uncomfortable chair they might have in the waiting room next to her husband and let him hold her until they knew that Sarge was going to be okay, wanted to start making it up to Sam for all the times she knew she'd probably let him down that day, wanted to do all those things and more. However her body refused to obey her. If she stepped out of the elevator and made her way down the hall to the waiting room, she would have to face the reality of the situation. Sarge's condition was critical; the doctor himself had said so, and her eyes had told her that without the confirmation. Even if he survived - and she wasn't ready to admit even silently that it was a sketchy if - would he ever be able to return to the job he loved so much? Would Team One ever be the same?

The door closed with Jules still standing inside. Before the elevator could move again, she pushed the 12 button and the car continued upward. This time when the door opened she managed to make her body move. She slowly made her way down the corridor to the large window at the end of the hall. She looked through the glass at the small clear bassinets. There were currently only five babies inside, three clad in blue blankets and two in pink. All but one appeared to be sleeping but the one who was awake seemed intent on waking the others up. His face was bunched up and red as he cried. The glass was too thick for Jules to hear him but she could imagine he had a healthy set of lungs. Did he know the anguish she and the rest of the city were feeling at the moment?

She wasn't sure how long she stood there; long enough that a nurse in bright scrubs had come to rock the screaming infant back to sleep. Now all four were sleeping contently in their personal bassinets. Her own tears, which now ran freely down her cheeks, wouldn't be soothed away quite so easily however. All the emotions she'd been suppressing all day long started to seep out and it wouldn't take much for her to sink to her knees in a blubbering mess.

Suddenly strong familiar arms encircled her waist and pulled her close. She allowed herself to melt against Sam's comforting body as he kissed her cheek. "I had a feeling I'd find you up here. "

His breath was warm and comforting in her ear and she could feel herself a little more of her emotional reserve cracking. "I needed something life-affirming after all the death and destruction today. Look at them Sam: they're so small and innocent. Their world is just starting and yet today for so many it just came crashing to a halt."

"I know." Sam whispered into her ear; she wasn't sure if he was actually agreeing with her or just trying to comfort her. His left hand went to her stomach, as if seeking his own reassurances of something life affirming. She wondered if he was needing what contact he could get with his son or daughter as a reminder that in all that had been lost that day, he still had her and their baby in his life.

There was so much that needed to be said, and still so much to worry about but everything else could wait. Since the first call had come in from the 9-1-1 communications center, their jobs had had to take priority over everything else. But now, for the first time since the wedding, they could leave everything else to the wayside and be content to hold and be held by the other.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Notes: One more what should be short chapter to go after this one. I hope you enjoy it.

Disclaimer: The show Flashpoint and its characters were created by Mark Ellis and Stephanie Morgenstern and belong to them and its respective networks. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Hand on My Back; Voice in My Ear

Chapter 4

"Your dad is pretty worried about you." Sam's voice was still quiet in her ear. It was as if the day had been filled with too much noise and he was loath to add to it in any way. "He called me after he talked to you. Said you pretty well freaked him out and that I'd better have a really good excuse for not being glued to your side."

"I'm sorry; Dad gets a little protective at times. I hope you told him that it was my fault you weren't." Her own voice just sounded weary, even to her own ears. She wondered how much of it was due to pure exhaustion and how much had to do with the pain killer she'd been given in the ER.

Sam took the crutches from her and set them against the window. Then he lifted her up in his arms bridal style and carried her over to a set of hard plastic chairs by the wall. She rested her head on his chest as he sat with her in his lap. He caressed her cheek. "I understand him being protective. I'll be the same way with our child and with you as much as you'll let me be."

"I thought I lost you today." There was more of an accusatory tone in her voice than she'd planned. It mixed with a slight quiver told more about her thoughts and feelings than the words themselves. Sam sighed and leaned his head back against the wall.

"I know. I'm sorry, Jules. I heard the fear in your voice as you were telling me to get out, but as much as I wanted to take that fear away from you, I couldn't let that bomb explode. I had to do everything possible to defuse it."

Jules frowned. Was it really fair that she was fussing at him for putting himself in danger when she herself had not listened to his pleas at the daycare? Yes, she argued internally; the two incidents were widely different. "I wasn't just telling you to get out as your wife, Sam. As much as I personally needed you to be okay for me and the baby; I was also begging as your teammate. Wasn't it enough that we'd already lost Donna and Jimmy? We couldn't lose you as well. It wasn't even like I was the only one telling you to get out, Sam. Spike is the demolitions expert and HE was telling you to get out as well. You should have listened to him if nobody else."

She was pretty sure the hurt was obvious in her eyes but she'd about reached the end of her ability to mask her feelings behind a wall of professionalism. However, as she looked into Sam's eyes, she could see the same pain reflecting back at her. She felt bad; the day hadn't been any easier on him. He leaned down and kissed her softly.

"Jules, I heard everything he was saying just like I heard what you were saying. I know Spike was reliving the day we lost Lew all over again. He was afraid he was about to lose another teammate and friend while he was too far away to do anything to help. I didn't want to put him through that any more than I wanted to put you through it. He was seeing a repeat of what happened before so he wasn't seeing the situation the same way I was."

"What were you seeing that was so different? You obviously could see the timer and knew you were running out of time. Why would you stay?" She wasn't trying to start a fight. She had neither the energy nor the desire to argue. Her question was a sincere attempt to understand what he was thinking at the time.

"Because I didn't want him to win. Faber that is. He had already managed to detonate three bombs and kill I don't know how many people. He killed Donna and Jimmy and endangered Sarge. We knew who he was and where he'd hidden his bombs and that damn timer was saying it wasn't going to be enough. Even with everyone screaming in my ear to get out of there, I couldn't do it as long as there was a chance I could prevent another explosion. That's what we do. We give it our all until our all isn't good enough."

He wasn't telling her anything she didn't know. One of the things that had always pulled her to him was the knowledge that he was as committed to the job as she was. He not only understood the dangers but embraced them as well knowing the end result was the safety and well being of the public. Why was it suddenly not sitting right for her? She looked down at her left hand that was resting on her stomach and knew the answer.

"And if you'd been killed in the process, that would have been okay?" Jules slid off his lap and hobbled back toward the window, keeping the weight off her injured leg. She leaned her head against the glass, watching as one of the infant girls on the other side opened her eyes partially and yawned. "Somehow that doesn't sound like too comforting a thing to explain to our baby about why Daddy isn't there in his or her life."

"I know." Sam admitted from his seat. "I was looking at that detonator watching the timer run down much quicker than the temperature was dropping on the mercury switch. Spike was yelling at me to drop everything and run but that sounded too much like defeat. Then you told me that we would not lose each other today and your words hit me worse than any explosion ever could. Leaving might be a defeat for the building but not for me. We got married today. We stood in front of our family and our friends and made our vows before them and God. My priorities are different now; they have to be. It's not all about me anymore. You and our baby are what's ultimately important to me. Not being the big hero. So for you and for our child, I left. I got out and I ran as fast as I could and prayed that it would be fast enough."

Jules turned around and leaned against the glass of the nursery. "I love you. You know that right?"

Sam stood and crossed back to her and gathered her gently in his embrace. "On a day like today when nothing seems to make sense anymore, it's the only thing I know. I love you and I love this baby and I'm so sorry I scared you. There's nothing I want more than a long life with you as my wife and for the two of us to be parents to this little miracle that's coming into our lives."

Again for a few minutes words weren't necessary or wanted as they continued to hold each other. There was probably more that needed to be said about the explosion at the EMS building, more feelings that would have to be aired in the hours and days to come, but for now it was enough. She could feel his heart beating beneath her ear and she took comfort and reassurance in its steady sound. She felt lucky and grateful that she hadn't had to find out what it would be like to go home tonight and crawl into her bed and know that she'd never again have Sam's arms wrapped around her. She wouldn't have to hope that their last kisses would be enough to last for the rest of her lifetime. So many others wouldn't have that luxury. She sniffled.

"You think Hank knows?" A year. Hank and Donna had only gotten a year as husband and wife. Jules thought back to the couple's wedding day that had ended in bloodshed. After Hank had been shot, Donna had believed that her wedding day would be the day she became a widow as well. Hank had survived, however, and they'd gotten a second chance at happiness, a happiness that had only lasted a little more than a year. She shuddered, not wanting to think about comparisons.

Sam must have felt her shudder because he tightened his arms around her. He kissed the top of her head. "Yeah, he knows. Holleran made the notification about an hour ago. Ed's talked to Hank. I couldn't even imagine if someone showed up at my door to tell me something had happened to you."

Again those silent moments after the explosion at the EMS building filled her mind. What was worse, being oblivious to the danger until someone knocked on your door and shattered your illusions of a happy life or being privy to the danger from the onset and not being able to do anything about it? _He's okay; he's right here holding you; stop thinking about it. _She willed those thoughts away and thought about Ed, who was unquestionably the closest to Donna on Team One, talking to Hank. Jules wondered what else she'd missed while she'd been in the ER getting her leg checked out. She imagined the team gathered in the waiting room waiting for word about Sarge.

Reluctantly, she stepped out of Sam's embrace and looked up at him, sure her fears were reflected in her eyes. "Any word on Sarge?"

Sam shook his head. "Nothing. We cornered one nurse but she said things were so crazy in the ORs that the nurses just weren't having time to call with updates. It's frustrating but no word has to mean he's holding his own right?"

She nodded. She'd wallowed in her own self pity long enough; it was time for her to be there for the team. "We should get back to the waiting room, shouldn't we? Maybe there's word?"

Cupping her face in his hands, Sam leaned down and kissed her, gently at first and then with growing need. Only the fact that they were in a public corridor of a hospital kept him from making a complete spectacle of himself. As it was, they were both breathing heavily by the time he pulled away. "Ed promised to text me if any word came in. We'll join the team in the waiting room in a minute but first, I need to worry about you. You're not okay. Your dad could hear it in your voice and I can see it in your eyes as well. I don't think it's all about your injury or what happened at the EMS building. No one's going to begrudge us a moment or two. If you need to talk about things, then I want to listen."

She knew he did. Knew that if she asked, he'd gather her securely in her arms and listen as she told him about the little boy on the sidewalk whose face was there every time she so much as blinked her eyes. He would not only listen as she shared all the fears and emotions that had threatened to overwhelm her all day long but also try to take away the sting and pain of them if he could. She needed to share with him the horrors of her day and then listen as he did the same. However it wasn't something they could do in a moment or two and certainly not standing in the hallway where anyone could walk by. "I do need to talk but later, okay? Once we go home?"

Sam nodded. "Okay, but I'm here for you if you need me. You don't have to bottle things up inside, not in front of the team and definitely not around me."

She nodded, "I've always known that." Sam gave her a little smirk of disbelief and she felt just a hint of a smile tug on the corners of her mouth. "I have. Knowing it's true and being able to do it are two different things." She stretched up as far as she could on her good leg so that she could place another soft kiss on his lips. "I so much more than love you, Sam. I love that you know me so well, that you know where to find me when I don't even know myself, that you know what I need even if I don't. Most of all though, I love that you love me so completely."

He stared into her dark eyes and shook his head. "I meant what I said this morning, Jules. From the day I met you, I've been yours. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, no place I wouldn't go for you - 'til death parts us and even after. I'm just real glad today wasn't the day we had to worry about the 'even after' part for either of us."

She held his gaze for a moment longer, feeling as protected by it as she did his arms. She'd always prided herself on being able to take care of herself and would scoff at the notion that she would ever need or want to be protected by anyone. Now, however, she had to admit that it was a nice feeling; he wasn't trying to protect her because he felt like she needed it but because he needed to do so. Feeling a little more empowered to stand on her own she leaned back and reached for her crutches. Sam smiled as she steadied herself on them.

"Crutches? You are willingly using crutches?"

She frowned. Her disdain for the aids was very well known. "Yeah, well, Dr. Barns suggested the stability they'd give me while my leg was healing would make it less likely that I'd fall and hurt myself or the baby."

Sam only nodded but Jules could see the wheels turning in his head and almost groaned. She was pretty sure he was filing away the success of playing the baby card in the back of his head to use at the first possible moment. Somehow that didn't bother her the way she had ever thought it would.

He gave her room to maneuver on the crutches without bumping into her but still kept his hand on her upper back. Whether it was to help give her support or because he needed the physical contact himself, she didn't know and decided it didn't really matter because she wanted and needed the contact just as much if not more so. They stepped on the elevator to ride down the four floors to the surgical floor. Once again there was no one else on the elevator. Once again the elevator door opened at her destination and once again she found herself unable to move. Sam was looking down at her and she didn't have to look up at him to know he was worried.

His hand reached out and pulled the stop button keeping the elevator doors open on the 8th floor. He didn't question her hesitation but waited for her to explain if she could. She blinked back a couple of tears; she didn't want to break down, not anymore than she'd already done so. She glanced up at him, her face pale and her eyes wide with fright.

"I'm scared Sam. I'm scared he's not going to make it. Everything I am with the team, it's because of him. Even when I had doubts about myself, he never did. I don't know that I know how to do this job without him. I don't know that I want to find out. Last year when he was facing suspension because of us and he was actually contemplating leaving, it was killing me to think it was going to happen."

"I know." Sam assured her quietly. "I could see how much it was eating you up even if you didn't talk about it. As much as it was killing you to think Sarge would leave SRU, it was killing me that I couldn't do anything to make things better. To be honest, that day at the picnic, I'm not sure which news relieved you more: our clearance to date while remaining on the team or Sarge tearing up the suspension papers."

She shook her head. "Sam, you have to know you meant more…"

Sam tilted her head up so she was looking in his eyes again. "I do know. That's my ring on your finger and my baby you're carrying. I know you love me and I have never doubted that. I've also never doubted that you and Sarge have a special relationship that's different from any he shares with any of the rest of us on the team. I recognized it almost from the very beginning. It's a beautiful thing, but it's also a little scary. That day I came down the stairs at your place and he was standing there I thought he was going to go back out to his car and get his gun like a dad who's just discovered a guy hiding in his daughter's bedroom. I know I feared his reaction to the news of our engagement a lot more than I did your dad's. As much as you love your father, I think if he'd said he didn't approve of me, you would have agreed to marry me anyway. If Sarge had voiced disapproval, I'm not so sure."

She opened her mouth to protest and he immediately put a finger over her lips. "I'm just trying to tell you, I understand you are scared and I know you hate feeling scared more than anything. On this day that you shouldn't have felt anything but happiness and love, fear has tried to overshadow everything. I'd give anything if I could wind the time back and change my actions at the EMS building so you wouldn't have had to be afraid for me. I wish I could promise you right here right now that tomorrow everything is going to be fine and while we're packing up for a honeymoon, Sarge will be at work like none of this ever happened. I can't do either of those things. What can I do is offer you this reassurance that I believe with my whole heart. If he has any control in any of this, Sarge is not going to die. Not today, not from his injuries."

Jules needed to hear those words more than she needed her next breath. Even though she knew Sam couldn't guarantee what he was saying she needed him to say it. As much as she wanted to accept his words as the truth she desperately needed to cling to, her doubts wouldn't completely allow her. "How can you be so sure?"

Sam smiled down at her and kissed her once again. "Because back at the stadium, when Steve and the other medics were working on Sarge and it looked hopeless, you ordered him to fight and live. One thing I know more than I know anything else is this: when Julianna Callaghan…" he kissed her again. "Braddock tells someone to do something, only a fool wouldn't listen. And we both know Sarge is no fool. I may not be able to change what happened earlier or promise everything is going to be just fine, but I can't believe you have to fear getting off this elevator."

Jules nodded, taking deep breaths. "And if you're wrong?"

He lowered his head to rest against her forehead. "Then I'll still be right by your side the whole time. Whatever happens, we'll face it together. Okay?"

Her answer was to step out of the elevator. Sam followed her, remembering to push the button back in so that the elevator would once more work. Once more his hand was on her back even as she paused in front of the closed door to the waiting room. He glanced down and she knew he was checking to see if she was ready. She nodded and he opened the door.

The room was full; how could it not be when hell had been unleashed on the city? Strangers united only in their shared fears of their loved ones fates. She paid no attention to the people she didn't know in the room and instead focused on the corner that Team One had claimed in their wait. Leah was sitting next to Marina trying to quietly distract the distraught woman who had captured Greg's heart. Spike was sitting in a nearby chair, his elbows were resting on his knees which were spread shoulder length apart. His head was in his hands. Dean was sitting next to him, his legs bouncing uncontrollably as he stared at the telephone on the desk as if watching it would make it ring with word about his father. Ed was standing apart from the crowd, looking out the window. The tension was more than obvious in his shoulders.

Again Jules was reminded that as tough as the day had been for her and the rest of the team, it had been just as tough if not more so for Ed. She glanced up at Sam. "How's Clark?"

"Pelvic fracture. Fortunately it's minor but the doctors decided to put in a couple of pins to make sure it heals properly. With rest and physical therapy they're pretty sure he'll regain full mobility. They're taking him into surgery soon."

Jules nodded surprised not to see Sophie here as well now that the danger was past. Then her eyes widened. "Sam, was he taken to a different hospital?"

Her husband nodded. "Yeah, we tried to tell Ed he should go be with his family but he says he won't leave until he knows for sure Sarge is okay. Ed talked to Clark on the phone and Clark told him to stay, told him Dean needed him here and that he'd be okay."

"Jules!" Spike had glanced up and noticed them standing there. He rose from his seat and walked over to them, giving Jules a quick hug. "You okay? What about the baby? All this stress can't be good for either of you. Come on over and sit down, we'll move a chair over so you can prop your leg up."

She reached out and touched his cheek. Normally being fussed over would drive her crazy but just this once, she could allow him a little leeway. If treating her like she was made of glass gave him something to focus on rather than Sarge and his own demons that always reared their head after a bomb call gone even remotely wrong, then she could give him that. There was a hard-back couch that would have almost been big enough for three people to sit close together had there not been an arm rest in the middle. Not to be deterred, Spike pulled out his multi-tool and unscrewed the handle completely. This allowed her to snuggle in close to Sam, the latter's arms comfortingly around her, and let her put her leg up in a comfortable position for what might have been the first time since she'd been hurt.

"Any word?" She asked hesitantly.

Spike shook his head. Dean pushed himself off his seat and started to pace. His hands went through his hair in frustration. "Something's wrong. We should have heard something by now. How long does it take?"

Dean went over to the phone and picked it up as if to check for a dial tone. He dropped the receiver back onto the base. He looked like he wanted to throw the entire phone across the room, take out his entire frustration and fear out of the object that seemed to be keeping him from knowing about his father. Instead he slid down to sit on the floor in front of the desk, burying his head in hands.

"How does something like this happen? We were getting another chance. He was the dad Mom always said he couldn't be. We missed so much time and we were getting that back. Are you seriously telling me it all ends like this? We get just over a year to make up for all those years apart? What is that worth?"

Jules didn't even bother to stem the tears that fell down her cheeks at his pain. Again a year. Hank and Donna got a year of marriage together and she was ripped from his life forever. Dean had moved in with Sarge around the same time and despite Sam's assurances to her that Sarge would survive, there was still no guarantee that Dean wasn't going to lose his father just the same.

Sam brought his hand up to cup the back of her head as she buried her face in his uniform. While she wanted to go to the young man and offer him assurances that everything was going to be okay, she couldn't. How could she reassure him when she couldn't even reassure herself?

"Dean." Ed's voice was quiet in contrast to Dean's emotional outburst. She didn't have to turn her head to look and see that Ed had left his solitary post at the window to cross the room. She could almost feel his calming presence, even if he was tortured on the inside, emanating off him and spreading out to the rest of them. Usually it was Sarge projecting that calm that could get them all through a tough situation.

"Listen Buddy; your dad is going to be okay. He's tough, tougher than anyone I know. One thing I know better than I know anything else is that you being here, you coming to live with your dad, made him the happiest I've ever seen him. I've never seen him prouder than he was right after you asked to move in with him. You are his world, Buddy. That's what it's worth. You've got to know that."

Dean nodded and then allowed Ed to help him to his feet and lead him back over to the chairs. Once the teenager was settled again, Ed returned to the window. It struck Jules like a punch to the gut that Ed was stepping up and being the leader Sarge usually was. Would this be what it was like if Sarge didn't make it? They'd all pick up the slack left by the void his death would create? It seemed so wrong.

The door opened and every head in the waiting room turned, hoping to see some scrub wearing doctor coming in to tell them news about a loved one. Wordy stepped inside and made a beeline for them. "I heard about the Boss. I got here as soon as I could be released."

It didn't surprise any of them that even the officers with Guns and Gangs had been pressed into service as the city faced the worst catastrophe it had ever seen. Nor did it surprise any of them that Wordy would be there as they waited. They filled him in on what little they knew and he settled in to wait as well.

Time seemed to slow down to a bare crawl. The waiting room started to thin out as other family members got word about their loved ones fates and left either in grief or joy. Still no word came on Greg. Raf arrived loaded down with take out bags of hamburgers and fries for everyone. Food they all needed but no one really wanted. Food they ate on automatic pilot and barely tasted. Still no word came. Ed got the call that Clark was out of surgery and doing well. His relief was palatable but still no word came about their leader and friend.

Hours passed and they were the only ones still left in the waiting room. Inquiries that sometimes sounded more like demands were made to no avail. A lethargy settled over Jules that was probably a combination of the painkiller she'd been given in the ER, her pregnancy, and the sheer weight of the emotional drain she'd felt all day. She tried to fight it but soon she was dozing lightly in Sam's arms, asleep but yet not so deeply that she couldn't dimly hear what was going on in the room.

"Sam." Wordy's voice was barely over a whisper. "You and Jules should go home. That couch can't be that comfortable for her to sleep on. Besides, it's your wedding night. We'll call you as soon as we know something."

"We're not going anywhere." Jules argued, not even bothering to open her eyes.

The door opened and she sat up, lowering her leg to the ground for the first time since she'd sat down. They were the only ones left in the waiting room so as the doctor came in, he went straight for them.

"My name is Dr. Sorens; I operated on Sergeant. Parker."

"How's my dad? Why did it take so long?"

The doctor nodded. It didn't escape any of them that it was obvious he'd changed out the scrubs he'd operated in because there was no blood on the ones he was currently wearing. "Let me start off by saying, he's one hell of a fighter. He shouldn't be alive right now but he is. The next twenty four to seventy two hours are critical but I think he's going to pull through."

"What aren't you telling us?" Jules questioned.

The doctor sighed. "The bullets fragmented on impact. The surgery took so long because I had to make sure I got all the pieces. As such, they caused a lot of damage, especially the bullet he took in the leg. He'll have a long road of rehabilitation ahead of him but at least now I have more confidence that he'll live to need it."

"Can we see him?" Dean asked hopefully.

"You're his son, right?" At Dean's nod, the doctor continued, "He'll be in recovery for probably another hour and then he'll be moved to ICU. Once he's there, I'll allow you and only you to see him for about ten minutes. The rest of you will have to wait until visiting hours tomorrow."

He stood to leave and Ed reached his hand out to shake the doctor's. "Thank you for taking care of him."

The doctor nodded. "It was the least I could do. The city was under attack today and he - and the rest of you - were on the front line protecting us without a second thought to your own safety. You are the heroes that everyone in this city should be thanking."

He left out and Ed looked at the rest of the team. "You heard the doc. Nothing we can do tonight. Go home, decompress, get some rest. Tomorrow will bring its own challenges. Marina, I trust you'll stay with Dean until he's seen Greg?" The woman nodded.

"What about you? You're going to check on Clark right?" Jules pushed, her own exhaustion clear in her voice.

"No, I'm going home as well. The last message I got from Sophie is that Clark is sleeping peacefully and she was even heading home. I'm doing the same thing I'm telling all of you to do. You all did great today. Dr. Sorens is right, you are all heroes and I'm proud, damn proud to serve with all of you."

Sam kissed Jules on the side of the head. "Come on Mrs. Braddock, let's get you home. And just in case there was any doubt? It is my wedding night and I plan on carrying you and your crutches over the threshold and up the stairs to our bedroom. So don't even think about arguing."

Argue? She was looking forward to it. "Copy that."


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Notes: The final chapter of the post-eps. I'm more than a little sad to see it come to an end. I hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it. I'd love to hear what you think.

Disclaimer: The show Flashpoint and its characters were created by Mark Ellis and Stephanie Morgenstern and belong to them and its respective networks. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Hand on My Back; Voice in My Ear

Chapter 5

Going home wasn't as easy as going to their vehicles and driving home, not for any of them with the exception of maybe Wordy and Raf who had already gotten off shift before coming. For Team One, going home meant taking the SUVs back to HQ and checking in the equipment before going to the locker rooms to change out of their uniforms. After everything that had happened, no one on the team seemed to want to linger any longer than necessary, especially with the sense of loss that seemed to pervade the air. Jules lingered in the locker room. She wanted a shower more than anything, needed to wash away the layer of dust and grime that seemed to have permanently embedded itself into her skin, hair, and clothes. The directions she'd been given to keep the stitches dry thwarted that desire though.

"Hey, you okay?" Leah asked as she buttoned her shirt.

Jules shrugged. "I'm not even sure what the definition of okay is any more."

"I would recommend going home, turn on some soft music and a couple of lamps, curl up on the couch in your husband's arms with a good glass of wine and just shut out the world for the rest of the night. Given the little bom…" Jules realized Leah had been about to say bombshell but had caught herself just in time. Then Leah continued. "Given the amazing news the two of you dropped on us at the wedding this morning, I guess wine is out of the question. So, let your husband take you home and for once don't fuss if he wants to spoil and pamper you a little. You both deserve it. Like Ed said, all of this will still be here tomorrow unfortunately."

"What about you?" Jules asked as she pulled her a short sleeved sweater over her head. She looked at the garment bag hanging in her locker with her wedding dress zipped inside. It seemed like a lifetime ago when she'd put it on in anticipation of becoming Sam's wife. If things had happened according to plan, she and Sam would have been getting ready to slip out of the reception to head for their honeymoon. A destination she still didn't know the location of. How could she be so selfish to be thinking about things like honeymoons when Sarge was fighting for his life; Hank was facing the first night of the rest of his life without Donna, and Mrs. Cumberland had only a blanket to hold as night descended on the city. She looked at Leah, needing to push all such thoughts from her mind. "I know you were planning on bringing Dex to the reception tonight. Is he going to be waiting for you when you get home or is he pulling an extra shift with everything that's going on?"

Sharing a locker room had given Jules and Leah ample time to share stories, so Jules had heard all about the firefighter that Leah was dating. Leah insisted that it was just a casual thing but Jules wasn't as convinced. Leah smiled wanly.

"According to his last text, he's already got the soft music on and the lights turned down low."

Jules eased her work out pants on being careful of her leg; they might not match the sweater but the material would be much softer and stretchy-er on her injury. "And the wine poured?"

Leah shook her head. "Nah, wine wouldn't even begin to cut it for me. A day like today calls for a good glass of scotch - Johnny Walker Black. Dex will have it poured as soon as I pull into the drive."

Jules was glad that Leah had someone waiting for her at home. It was almost easy to think that because she hadn't been with them as long, the losses they had endured that day wouldn't affect Leah as much as it had the rest of them but the truth was none of them had been immune to the effects. Tonight was a night nobody needed to be alone to face the nightmares that were sure to be vicious. Ed had Sophie, she had Sam, Sam had her, and Leah had Dex, but who would be there for Spike? Spike, as their demolitions expert, had faced the added pressure of feeling responsible for defusing all the bombs. Spike, who had never completely gotten over feeling guilty for Lew's death, would be haunted by the what if things had turned out differently. Spike would be going home alone and that was just wrong.

Leah said her goodbyes and Jules was alone in the locker room. She tied the laces on her tennis shoes and then just continued to sit there. The team was a family and family took care of each other. Her decision made, she grabbed the crutches and hobbled toward the door. Sam was leaning against the wall outside the locker room, obviously waiting for her. He hugged her. "Ready?"

She shook her head. "Sam, Spike can't go home alone. You know it's going to be a tough night and we can't leave him to face it alone. It's as inhumane as anything Faber did today. I know it's our wedding night, but it's not like anything else about our wedding day has been normal. It's not that I don't want to be alone with you, but I can't stand the idea of Spike not having someone to…"

He cut her off with a kiss. She was glad to see that Sam looked relieved at her statement rather than upset. "I was hoping you'd feel that way. He's in the gym attacking the punching bag like he's got a personal vendetta against it. I haven't said anything to him yet but I wanted to invite him to spend the night with us. Nobody should be alone tonight."

Just as Jules was starting to reposition the crutches, they noticed that Winnie was already heading into the gym. Sam put his hand on Jules to stop her forward movement. The pretty dispatcher grabbed hold of the punching bag and held it fast until Spike stopped his assault on the bag. Sam and Jules were too far away to hear what was being said but whatever Winnie was telling the demolitions expert seemed to be sinking in. When Spike sank to his knees and his body began to shake as if he was breaking down, Jules started to go to him, but Sam held her back. She sent him a glare.

"Jules, look."

She returned her attention to her hurting friend and saw why Sam had stopped her. Winnie had sat down on the floor beside him and wrapped her arms around him. His head was buried in the dispatcher's shoulder. The picture it created was both heartbreakingly sad but hopeful at the same time.

"Looks like Winnie might be changing her mind about her rule." Sam remarked quietly.

Jules nodded, reaching up to swipe at her misty eyes. "Life's too short to limit your heart to who it can or can't love. Sometimes it takes something like today to remind you of that. It doesn't make up for all the loss, but if today's tragedies helps bring them together, then at least something good can come out of it."

As Jules and Sam watched, she couldn't help but feel a little like an intruder. Even still, she couldn't tear her eyes away, needing both the reassurance that her friend was going to be okay and also needing the image of something sweet and innocent to try to wash away the horrible sights that seemed burned into her memory. She leaned her head against Sam's broad and perfect chest.

After a few minutes, Spike and Winnie rose from their spots on the floor of the gym. Spike's arm was around Winnie's waist as they made their way toward the exit, never once glancing at the newlyweds. Jules smiled. "I guess he's going to be okay and not completely alone."

Sam nodded. "Today couldn't have been much easier on Winnie; stuck here behind the desk, hearing what was going on but at the same time not really knowing anything more than what we were saying on the radios. It's good that they have each other."

Jules looked up at him, her hand on her stomach. "I'm glad we have you. I'm not sure I would have made it through today without you."

Sam leaned down and kissed her again. "You would have because I don't know anyone as strong as you are."

Jules shook her head. "I don't know about that. I don't feel very strong right now. I feel like all I've done today is break down in tears. How strong is that?"

"Stronger than any of the rest of us that wanted to do the same thing but were too scared of how it might look to give in to the urge. Now, then Mrs. Braddock, what are we still doing hanging around here? Let's go home."

Home still wasn't their next destination. Jules realized as she got in the jeep that the prescriptions the doctor had written were still in her uniform shirt upstairs. Not wanting her on her leg, crutches or no crutches any more than she had to be, Sam volunteered to run back inside to get them. At the pharmacy, he ran in to get them filled leaving her sitting in the passenger seat of the jeep. In the dark quiet, Jules could feel herself drifting off to a light doze again. This one was a little deeper than in the waiting room and she barely registered when Sam returned with her medicine and drove off again.

When his strong familiar arms started to gather her in his arms to carry her inside, she roused herself to sleepily admonish, "Don't you dare, Braddock."

He kissed the side of her head. "I warned you at the hospital that I was going to carry you into the house and I'm pretty sure I said no arguing."

She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Not going to argue about you carrying me in. I'm protesting you trying to carry me in without waking me up. I don't want to sleep through being carried over the threshold by my husband on our wedding night. I want to enjoy every second of it."

Sam grinned. Just when he thought he knew his new bride better than anyone else in his life, she could still do or say something to surprise him. They'd had their fair share of discussions about what traditions they were going to include and which ones they were going to do away with. Sam pretty much had wanted to do everything according to tradition but Jules had very definite other ideas about almost everything. He'd won the one about him staying somewhere else the night before so he didn't see her before the wedding because silly superstition or not, he wanted to start off the marriage right. She'd won the one about not walking down the aisle with or without her father saying she didn't think it was fair that only the bride was put on display like that. They'd both agreed there was no way they'd shove cake in each other's face at the reception and that they would do everything possible to make sure that when it came time to throw the bouquet and garter, they would aim for Winnie and Spike respectively. To hear her say she wanted to be carried over the threshold both amused and excited him.

"Sam, it's our wedding night. Other than the actual ceremony, we've missed out on everything else we'd planned for today. Nobody is going to fault us for taking what moments we can. If anything, the reminder how short time could be, I think it's more important than ever."

And just as he was realizing she could surprise him, she had to go and show just how well she knew him. No sooner had the words left her mouth then Sam felt guilty about his reaction. What right did he have to be thinking about such thoughts about Jules after so much death and destruction. She was right though, but of course she was; Jules was always right. They couldn't afford to put off any chance they were given to share the love they had for each other. He didn't want to get maudlin, but at the same time he couldn't deny the fact that neither of them were guaranteed a long and happy life. They could want it and try for it but it wasn't a guarantee. Therefore they had to make sure whatever time they were given, long or short, was as happy as they could make it.

Leaving one arm around his neck, she grabbed her crutches so that Sam could lift her slight weight into his arms. Then he carried her up the front walk where she shifted the crutches so she could unlock the door without him putting her down. Once inside, she closed the door and locked it. Without bothering with the lights, Sam carried her straight up the stairs to the bedroom. Only once he crossed the threshold of the bedroom did he set her lightly on her feet. She set the crutches against the wall so that she could once more put both hands around his neck, much as she had that morning at the wedding, and just like at the wedding she drew his head down so she could kiss him. There was a desperation to her kiss that said she needed the contact with him more than she needed the air she was breathing. He was only too happy to oblige her.

"I want nothing more than to curl up in that bed in the safety and love of your arms." Jules admitted to him. Sam's hands immediately went to her waist, ready to lift her up and do just that but her hands left his neck to cover his hands, stopping him. "Don't think I didn't smell your shampoo when you were carrying me. I know you got your shower at HQ. I unfortunately can't get these stupid stitches wet."

Sam grinned down at her. "It's not like we haven't had practice keeping stitches dry." Jules frowned bothered maybe more than she should be that once again she was the one with the stitches. Sam kissed her forehead. "If you want to get your change of clothes ready, I'll go back downstairs for the Saran wrap and tape."

Jules appreciated that he was letting her keep her independence as much as possible. He knew her so well. Once she was alone in the bedroom, she retrieved the crutches and hobbled over to the dresser. As she pulled out one of Sam's old stretched out t-shirts to sleep in, she couldn't help but think about what she should be wearing tonight. She'd turned as red as the small amount of material that made up the sexy lingerie Sophie had given her during her bridal shower. Though it wasn't anything close to what she would normally wear, she'd packed it to wear the first time she and Sam made love as husband and wife. It was tucked away in her suitcase in the jeep still in the box it had been wrapped in, waiting for her and Sam to arrive at his secret honeymoon destination.

As she stared at the t-shirt - a favorite she liked to sleep in but not what she'd pictured for her wedding night, anger coursed through her. An anger so hot that, for the moment, it overshadowed her grief and fear. It was an anger that had to find an outlet or it would consume her just like the other emotions had threatened to do earlier.

She picked up an empty votive candle holder and slung it against the far wall. As it smashed into thousands of pieces, she was already picking up another object to throw. Only some deep inner conscience that was still rational kept her hands away from keepsakes too precious to break.

When nothing expendable remained on top of the dresser, she started in on the clothes in Sam's open drawer. The articles of clothing didn't make as satisfying a thud or crash as the heavier objects from on top of the dresser; that only fueled her anger even more. When the drawer was empty she moved to the shoe rack hanging on the back of the closet door. She didn't care if the thrown shoes made a dent or left a scuff mark on the wall upon impact, didn't care about anything but purging the rage rising within her.

She ran out of shoes before she ran out of the need to throw things. She also ran out of steam to locate more objects to throw before she had exhausted her need to lash out at the world. So, she did the next best thing. She balled up her fists and began to hit the closet door with all her might. The only difference between her and Spike earlier at the barn was that the punching bag he was laying into was a little more forgiving.

Sam had been standing unobserved in the bedroom doorway since about the fourth object had been thrown. He hadn't said anything or made a move to intercept or stop her. He was almost glad to see the anger taking control. He pretty much knew what to expect from Angry Jules whereas he'd been at a loss to know how to really help her at the hospital. Though he'd been honest when he'd told her it didn't make her weak that she'd broken down, it had hurt his heart to see her so upset. It was also scary to see her lose control that way, although he'd never admit it to her. If she knew just how much it had thrown him to see her so upset, she would probably guard her emotions more tightly the next time. Not that he ever wanted there to be a next time. While Angry Jules could be scary as hell when her anger was directed at you, he at least knew how to respond to this emotion.

So, he'd stood in the doorway, plastic wrap, tape, a bottle of water, and the bag with her prescriptions in hand and he'd watched. He'd watched as item after item from the dresser became a projectile, marveling at how, despite the outward appearance, she'd kept control enough to avoid the framed photographs that held an important display space on the top. He'd watched as his t-shirts, underwear, and socks went next, noting almost with pride at how well she could pitch his rolled up socks across the room. When it came to the shoes, he still didn't intervene even though he was grateful that she didn't wear spiked heels.

If she destroyed the room completely, he wouldn't complain because he knew it was her way to find some control in a situation she'd felt helpless to do anything about. He'd gladly and without comment clean everything up, and he'd follow her instructions on how to repair any damage her weapons might inflict on the walls. It would be worth it if it helped her deal with the aftermath Faber had left them with. But when her anger went from throwing objects to throwing her fists, he could no longer stand by as a bystander. She'd been hurt too much today, both physically and emotionally for him to let her cause herself any more pain. Dropping his gathered items on the bed, he went to her side and wrapped his arms securely around her. Her fists were now trapped between their bodies so they couldn't do any damage to him or to herself. The only movement she could do with them was to grab hold of his shirt.

"Jules…" He started but didn't really know what else to say. Not that she gave him the chance. With her body trapped in his arms, the only weapon she had left was her voice.

"Damn him to hell and back. How much can he take away from me in just one day? It wasn't enough that he threatened the city I love and am proud to protect. Wasn't enough that he killed Donna and almost did the same to Sarge. And who knows if he'll ever be able to return to Team One? I almost lost you today as well. All this loss and now I can't help but think about the little things he stole as well, things you and I will never get back. We missed our reception and our honeymoon, and now even our wedding night is ruined." The fact that the mild expletives rolled so easily off her tongue when she'd been so careful since learning she was pregnant told just how upset she actually was.

Sam couldn't fix the big things; couldn't undo the damage done to the city, couldn't bring Donna back from the dead, couldn't assure her that Sarge would make a full recovery, and as much as he'd like to, couldn't erase the fear he'd caused her when the bomb had gone off and she hadn't known if he'd gotten clear in time. He could however help with the smaller things, and perhaps in doing so, it would help with the larger issues as well.

"Jules, this morning you became my wife. We vowed to love each other for better and for worse and all those other things that I forgot and stumbled over because every time I looked into your eyes I couldn't quite believe this day was finally happening. I know we didn't plan on "for worse" rearing its ugly head only hours after the wedding but we're still here and I still love you. We are married; we're husband and wife, and nothing Faber did today changed that. Maybe we missed out on the reception but we can still do the honeymoon once we know for sure Sarge is okay."

He lifted her slightly and carried her to the end of the bed so she could sit down on the trunk at the foot of the bed. He kissed her and knelt down in front of her so he cup her face in his hands. "And as for our wedding night, we still have that. Maybe it won't be the way we imagined it or planned it but that's okay too. As long as you are in my arms when we turned out the lights I have everything I need."

Jules's lower lip trembled. "Remember what I said this morning about there being so many words? I just figured out the ones I should have said were that you make me so much better than I could ever be alone. I'm so lucky to have you."

He kissed her again. If he kissed her a million times a day for the next seventy to eighty years it wouldn't come close to ever being enough. "See, that's where you are wrong. You are so perfectly you with or without me. I'm the lucky one because I get to share the rest of my life with you."

She smiled; it seemed wrong because of everything bad that was happening, but she couldn't help it. How was it that he could fix what was hurting her with jus the cadence of his voice, the sincerity in his eyes, the warmth of his touch , and the words her heart needed to hear at that moment. "We'll agree to disagree on that one, how about it?"

His smile turned boyish. "And if it'll make you feel better, I can always run back out to the jeep and retrieve that sexy little number you packed to wear tonight."

She blushed as deeply as she had the day she'd opened the present. "You weren't supposed to have seen it until I wore it for you."

"Hard to miss it since I packed the rest of your bag." He'd insisted on packing for her since she didn't know their destination and wouldn't know the appropriate clothes to pack.

Jules rolled her eyes. "Right, I can see where it would be hard for you to miss seeing something that was boxed up. You are such a peeker."

"Guilty as charged. As sexy as it looked in the box, I've no doubt that it will look even more incredible on your sexy body. If you want it, I'll go get it, but to be honest, tonight it doesn't matter what you wear to bed so long as you are by my side and in my arms. Whatever you come to bed wearing doesn't matter because I'm not going to let you wear it for long anyway."

"I love you." Jules whispered softly.

His grin grew. His three favorite words coming from his two favorite lips. "I love you too. Now I think you mentioned wanting a shower. How about I get that leg wrapped so we can take care of that."

"We, huh? Considering you got your shower earlier, are you thinking I can't handle taking a shower by myself?" There was no anger in her voice, just amusement.

Sam shook his head. "I think you are capable of doing absolutely anything you want to do." His tone was serious, no trace of joking to be heard. "I just really don't want to let you out of my sight any more tonight. You okay with that?"

Jules nodded. "Yeah, I can live with that. I kind of feel the same way about you."

As Sam retrieved the plastic wrap and tape, Jules carefully removed her pants. As he knelt before her Sam leaned down and placed a light kiss on the bandage right where he remembered the wound actually was. Then he looked back into her eyes. "It won't be that long before we'll be kissing our child's cuts and scrapes to make them better. I figured I'd better get in some practice. So does it feel better?"

The sweetness of the gesture chipped away a little more at the stress of the day. Jules reached out and touched his cheek. "A little bit. It was a pretty big wound though; it might take a few more kisses to really make it better."

Sam nodded seriously. "Let's take care of that shower and then I'll be happy to try to kiss all your pain away."

He wrapped her leg with the plastic wrap and secured it with the tape. "You want to take your pills before or after your shower and don't try telling me you aren't hurting 'cause I can see it in your eyes that you are. Besides, you've got to take the antibiotic anyway. Can't risk an infection."

"I'll wait until after the shower. You know how quickly junk like that knocks me out and I'd prefer not to fall asleep in the shower, even if you're taking one with me. Or maybe that's especially if you are there with me. Don't listen to me; I think I'm still a little drugged out from what he gave me in the ER. Take me to the shower Mr. Braddock."

He lifted her easily in his arms. "Whatever you say, Mrs. Braddock."

Once she was under the warm spray of the shower, her intentions of wanting to stay awake to enjoy the shower flew out the window. Sam decided it was a good thing he'd chosen to shower with her because it wasn't long before she was leaning heavily against him, half asleep. Sam took his time, sponging away the dirt and grime from her skin and hair and wished it was as easy to do the same with the bad emotions.

There was something she hadn't talked to him about yet; something she'd seen or experienced during the call that he hadn't been privy to. He'd known from the moment that she'd demanded to be allowed to go into the daycare that she was being driven by something other than her own stubbornness. Otherwise she never would have played the emotional card she'd played or been so insistent on putting herself and the baby in such danger. It was something they'd have to talk about eventually but not something they had to go into tonight. He didn't think the emotional conversation was one either could handle on top of everything else. It could wait until there was a little more distance involved.

Once he'd rinsed her off, he turned off the water. She roused herself enough to help dry herself off. She was about to slip into his t-shirt but he took it from her. "Like I said, I need to feel your body against mine tonight. Nothing between us. Okay?"

She nodded and let him carry her back into the bedroom and get her settled into bed. She took the medication and then curled into his embrace. She sighed heavily. "I was prepared for the changes marrying you would cause. I looked forward to them. Still I don't think I was ready for the other changes that I think today is going to bring. Nothing's ever going to be the same again. And not just in the good way I was thinking being your wife would be."

Sam kissed her and pulled her in closer. "I don't know. At least though whatever happens I know I'll be facing it with you on my side. That's the only way I want to face every day for the rest of our lives."

"Copy that." Jules agreed sleepily. She yawned, her jaw popping with the effort. "I just want it to be very long lives."

Sam was about to agree with her but then he looked down to see her eyes were closed and her breathing was evened out. He kissed her forehead. If long lives together was what she wanted, then he'd do everything possible to make sure she got exactly what she wanted. After all, what she was asking for was exactly what he wanted as well.


End file.
